All you need to know about sexual fantasies
Why do we have sexual fantasies?
Fantasizing is not an activity exclusive to children and adults who look like children. Fortunately, it is an ability that all human beings have and that we can use throughout our lives.
Sexual fantasies
Fantasizing is simple: in a nutshell, you just have to let your imagination run wild.. Thus, imagining other realities, we can live experiences of all kinds. That is, in the mind.
On the sexual level, in a private and personal way, we can be able to let ourselves be carried away by our erotic thoughts and intertwine mind, body and emotions, being able to live tremendously pleasurable experiences, and even trigger the sexual response.
You just have to find and press the ON button of fantasies.
When do we start fantasizing? What do sexual fantasies feed on, and how do they evolve?
According to sex therapist Wendy Maltz Wendy Maltz in her book "The Intimate World of Women's Sexual Fantasies.women begin to fantasize in childhood, with more romantic or sensual ideas, evolving over time to more sexual ideas.
The development of fantasies seems to be closely related to sexual development, and in turn, with the experiences that are lived, the culture and the information that are collected with respect to sexuality throughout life.
It is therefore important to fill the drawer of our fantasies with everything that stimulates us. It is necessary to look for sources of inspiration, which place the senses of the person just at the starting point of the erotic path, always ready to look for pleasure.always ready to seek pleasure.
Types of sexual fantasies
This question is complicated if we assume that anything goes in the mind: strictly speaking, there are all kinds of fantasies. The subject matter is as varied as the tastes of some are different from others. However, there is one classification that is interesting to mention, as it can provide a deeper understanding of one's own sexuality.
As Maltz explains sexual fantasies can be classified into novelized and non-novelized fantasies..
Novelized fantasies are developed as a real story, with characters and relationships between them. The roles of the protagonist, usually vary from dominance, where power and control are the characteristic elements, to a sweet and nice role of beloved, where affection, intimacy or spiritual attraction, are predominant. But there can also be roles of victim, where fear or even violence make an appearance; of savage, understood as a free role, without power or control; of object of desire, or simply, of voyeur.
On the other hand, there are the non-novel fantasies. These fantasies are totally linked to the sensory capacities that we humans have. They are not stories like the previous ones, but visual, auditory, tactile, etc. stimuli that provoke pleasure when we imagine them in our minds.
What are your fantasies like, do you make real movies in your head or do your senses take you to paradises of pleasure?
In any case, whatever kind of fantasies they are, the most important thing is to give yourself permission to fantasize, the most important thing is to give yourself permission to fantasize, free of guilt, censorship, shame or fear.or fears.
What are the meanings of sexual fantasies?
The meaning of fantasies has a relative importance, if we start from the idea that there is no bad sexual fantasy as long as it works. If the fantasy is capable of activating you, of suggesting you, of making you feel pleasure, that fantasy works. Use it and use it a lot!
However, on certain occasions fantasies can be a cause for concern or can hinder a person's intimacy, in which case they become disturbing or intrusive fantasies, or as Wendy Maltz also calls them, entrapment fantasies.
These types of fantasies can occur when the fantasy itself is in contradiction with the person's reality or when the fantasy causes the person experiencing it to lose a sense of control, or they can also be those that maintain or reinforce negative or even dangerous behaviors.
In these cases, it is good and reassuring to know that fantasies can be modeled to the consumer's liking.. Therefore, one can discard that fantasy and look for another. Wendy Maltz conducts guided explorations of fantasies in workshops or in therapy and in her book she explains how she does it, recounting some cases.
What are the advantages of sexual fantasies?
1. The mind is the most important driver of sexual arousal.. Using the potential that gives us the ability to fantasize can help to enrich and enjoy more sexual life, as it acts directly on the increase of sexual desire. By fantasizing you can live experiences that in real life you may not be able or want to live, but when experienced in the mind, they bring enormous pleasure.
2. They are a source of improvement of self-esteem and personal attractiveness. personal attractiveness. Generally, fantasies allow you to focus on the sexiest details. sexyand can avoid outside criticism and self-criticism.
3. They help to rehearse possible future practices or may serve to preserve pleasant past memories or to overcome some limitations of the present. overcome some limitations of the present.
4. Fantasies are personal creations and as such, they can be modified as desired, adapting them to personal tastes and needs.
5. It's a simple, fun, creative technique that is available to everyone and it's free. it's free! (an important detail in these times when everything seems to have a price).
6. The more you practice fantasizing, the easier it is to trigger well-beingpleasure and even sexual response.
There are too many good things contributed by this practice not to consider fantasizing.
Bibliographical references:
- Maltz, W, and Boss, A. (1998).. The intimate world of female sexual fantasies: a journey of passion, pleasure and self-discovery.. Publisher: Paidós Iberíca.
(Updated at Apr 12 / 2024)