6 keys to a healthy divorce
Tips and strategies to know how to properly manage the divorce process.
Divorce is an experience unlike any other; in fact, many of the people who come to a psychologist because of the difficulties of managing it report that they have no references to know what to do.
This is normal: getting divorced often goes hand in hand with both frustration and a sense of regression or at least stagnation in one's life trajectory, although these kinds of feelings do not accurately reflect reality and are caused by the distorted and pessimistic perspective of the divorcing person. Therefore, it is common to have a mixture of doubts, on the one hand, and sadness, on the other (although there are always exceptions and it is perfectly possible to see this situation as an improvement and a reason to rejoice, of course).
However, there are ways to get through divorce better than others, and some of them even help the ordeal, if it exists, to pass relatively quickly.. In this article we will see some of the most important ones.
6 ideas calve to manage correctly a process of divorce.
These are some tips and guidelines to properly manage a divorce process, both in terms of managing emotions and in terms of communication and behavioral strategies.
Relativize the importance of divorce
Divorce is, above all, the embodiment of a previously deteriorated relationship.
It is not so much that which breaks up the marriage, but rather the consequence of a crisis that has brought the relationship to an end.. If you look at it that way, you're less likely to end up in a state of psychological rumination, dwelling on thoughts of guilt or doubts about whether you're doing the right thing; even if you get some things wrong, those mistakes probably won't matter as much.
2. If you have children together, focus on them.
Putting the focus on the child or children if you have them is important, first of all, because their well-being should be the priority if they are children or teenagersThey are in a stage of life in which they are emotionally very vulnerable. Therefore, you should not let the possible conflicts between you lead to a situation of neglect when it comes to raising and educating them, providing them not only with the material support they need but also with affection and affective elements.
But on the other hand, doing this will also be emotionally beneficial for you and your children.adults who divorce. Looking out for the son's or daughter's best interest creates a relationship framework in which even if the marriage has come to an end, you have something in common on which bridges can be built. In this way you will be less likely to be too "defensive" in dealing with each other.
3. Don't talk badly about your ex-partner.
If you do so, you will not only be hurting that person, but you will also make it easier for the social circles with which you You will make it easier for the social circles with which you usually interact to expect you to adopt a hostile mentality towards your divorce, and this will encourage the person to take it out on you.This will encourage you to do so in order to fulfill those expectations.
In addition, it is very likely that in one way or another those bad words will reach the ears of your ex-partner, contributing to the conflict becoming bigger and bigger by snowball effect.
4. Do not assume that it is a stage of your life.
Divorce is in any case the final stage of marriage as an entity regulated by law, but it does not have to be a phase of your life, i.e. a stage that permeates everything you say and do during those days and weeks.It is a stage that permeates everything you say and do during those days and weeks. Apart from this process, there are many other activities that may have nothing to do with it. And above all, don't feel bad if you think your divorce doesn't make you feel as bad as you see it makes other people feel: there is no right or wrong way to feel about divorce.
5. If you need to, unburden yourself by talking to someone.
In most cases, putting into words what we feel when we are emotionally upset helps us to get over what is happening to us.. Therefore, don't hesitate to seek help from friends, family, support groups of people going through similar situations, etc.
6. If you need it, seek professional help
Feeling bad about getting divorced is not a psychological disorder, but it can still be a perfectly valid reason to seek psychological help. it can be a perfectly valid reason to seek psychological help from professionals. from professionals.
Interested in professional psychological support?
The process of going through a divorce is an experience that overwhelms many people, and therefore, it is normal to resort to the services of psychological assistance in cases like this. If this is your case and you are considering going to a psychologist, I invite you to get in touch with me.. I am an expert psychologist in the cognitive-behavioral model and I attend in person in Madrid and through online sessions by video call.
(Updated at Mar 28 / 2023)