How to overcome the aftermath of bullying: 8 tips

Several tips to overcome the emotional aftermath of bullying.

Bullying is a situation that, unfortunately, many children in schools have lived -and live-..... It consists of harassment and mistreatment (physical and/or psychological) towards a person, who is considered the victim.

Fortunately, by denouncing this situation and with the necessary help, it is possible to get out of it. Once we have left, however, there may be psychological sequelae that are very important to treat. In this article we will explain how to overcome the after-effects of bullying through 8 ideas that can help us.

The bullying: definition and analysis of the phenomenon

Bullying is an experience that can be very traumatic for children and adolescents. It consists of receiving insults, threats, harassment or mistreatment, whether psychological or physical, by one or more people, who are the aggressors. Bullying is a real situation that is becoming more and more common in school classrooms.

This harassment is usually prolonged in time and occurs frequently and recurrently towards the victim, who suffers during the period in which he/she is the aggressor.The victim suffers during and after the period of bullying, through a series of psychological sequelae that may remain. These sequelae can manifest in: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear, nightmares, psychosomatic symptoms ....

On the other hand, many times the victim is a psychologically "weaker" person, or with an obvious physical "defect", which the aggressor uses to ridicule him/her. However, the key to fight against bullying is not only to take care of the victim, but also, and above all, the aggressor.

Often, moreover, it is the aggressor who feels most insecure, and that is why he/she needs to hurt someone he/she considers "inferior".and that is why he/she needs to hurt someone he/she considers "inferior". Through this he/she becomes "empowered" and if he/she also has people who support him/her (or who allow the situation to perpetuate), who are usually classmates, this makes him/her feel superior, more powerful.

How to overcome the consequences of bullying

It is for all these reasons that the work should always be done with both parties (victim and aggressor). In this article, however, we will focus on the victim, and that is why we will propose some keys on how to overcome the aftermath of bullying.

1. Ask for psychological help

An essential step on how to overcome the aftermath of bullying is to ask for professional help in case you need it.. After such an experience, which may have been very traumatic, it is likely that there will be after-effects to be dealt with, insecurities, fears, etc.

Sometimes it is difficult to manage or solve it oneself without help, because we do not always have the necessary tools to do so. The help we ask for should be adapted to our particular case, and can be psychological, psychiatric, medical help...

2. Accept the experience

Another step on how to overcome the aftermath of bullying involves accepting the situation experienced. That does not mean resigning or forgetting as if it had not been something important, on the contrary; it implies accepting what has happened to us, what it has made us feel and that, fortunately, the situation is over and does not have to be repeated.

This is neither an easy nor a short process; it is a path that may require a long period of time.. Often it will be essential to go to a psychologist to accompany us during the process. Accepting the experience will allow us to manage and confront the emotions and after-effects caused, to evolve, to continue advancing and to acquire an important vital learning.

3. Be clear that it is not your fault

It is common to feel guilty after having experienced bullying; but the fact that it is common does not mean that it is healthy, realistic or "logical". That is to say, it is never our fault that we have been victims of bullying.even if our head would have us believe otherwise.

That is why we must be aware that the fault is always the aggressor's, and that having these negative thoughts can cause us a lot of harm. So we must take into account this aspect, and not feel guilty for thinking this way.

4. Stay away from negative thoughts

Another tool on how to overcome the aftermath of bullying has to do with the negative thoughts we may have after such experience. Related to the previous point, we often find that victims of bullying victims of bullying often have negative thoughts of insecurity, insecurity, self-destructiveness, etc., after bullying.of insecurity, self-destructive thoughts, etc., after such an experience.

As in the previous case, we must get away from such thoughts, either alone or with psychological help.

These negative thoughts can be translated into "you deserved it", "you are worthless", "no one will love you".... When they appear in our mind, we can apply techniques such as stopping the thought; that is, say "STOP!" out loud, or "STOP!", when the thought appears, take a deep breath and do some pleasant or enjoyable activity (or imagine a pleasant scene).

5. Stay away from resentment

Resentment is that feeling or emotion that we experience towards someone when they have caused us harm; it is a feeling of "revenge", of rage, negative, that in a certain way ties us to that person and perpetuates our suffering, because it does not allow us to move forward and accept the situation.

Reducing this resentment until it disappears will free us and allow us to continue moving forward, accepting what happened to us, but accepting what happened to us.accepting what happened to us but looking again to the future. Many times it will be necessary to turn to a professional to help us manage this anger.

Thus, it is not so much a matter of "forgiving" the aggressor, but of accepting what happened to us and continuing to move forward.

6. Express what you feel

How to overcome the aftermath of bullying without expressing how you have felt all this time? It is impossible. It is therefore essential to do so, since expressing our emotions, whether positive or negative, will help us to understand what we have experienced and how it has affected us. At the same time, we will be able to analyze our feelings and emotions, and move forward, in order to feel a little better every day..

7. Empower yourself

It is important to be clear that we are still valid, true and deserving of all the positive things that life offers us, even if - and in spite of - having lived such an experience. We must trust in our worth and in our power to transform our reality, as well as to achieve all that we want.and to achieve everything we set out to achieve through effort and self-confidence.

8. Transforming pain

Pain is an affective experience and an emotion that causes us much suffering; however, it has its "positive" side, and that is that, in addition to being an adaptive emotion (necessary to evolve), it is an emotion with the power to make us change things and to make us fight back.. In fact, it is a natural emotion.

That is why we can transform this Pain into other "formats", such as art and creativity (drawings, poems, stories...). It is about projecting it into other things that do make us feel good and that allow us to bring out our full potential.

Bibliographical references:

• Irurtia, M.J., Avilés, J.M., Arias, V. and Arias, B. (2009). The treatment of victims in the resolution of bullying cases. AMAzônica, 2(1): pp. 76 - 99.
• Rodríguez, A.C. and Mejía, Y.K. (2012). Bullying: a phenomenon to be transformed. Duazary: International Journal of Health Sciences, 9(1): pp. 98 - 104.