My psychologist does not want to see me: 5 possible causes

A review of the possible reasons why a psychologist may refuse to see a person.

Going to the psychologist is a process that, without a doubt, offers us many benefits. It allows us to learn a little more about ourselves, what problems we may be experiencing in our lives and how to solve them.

In most cases the therapist will listen carefully to our experiences, what we feel, what we believe could be the origin of our problems. He or she will try to give us a solution, accepting us as patients. Or not.

Sometimes it happens that the psychologist chooses to reject the patient. Patients who have experienced this think to themselves, "Why doesn't my psychologist want to see me?". Today we are going to answer this question.

"My psychologist refuses to attend me".

Strange as it may seem, a psychologist may turn away a person who comes to him or her for consultation.. Not all therapists will treat everyone who wants their services. There may be a number of factors in which the therapist decides that it is best not to be the one to carry out the psychotherapy, and in most cases they have to do with aspects of professional ethics.

What we must understand is that every psychologist wants the best for the patient. The principle of beneficence is one of the ethical values governing the psychologist's professional practice.. That is why, in case the therapist is unable to satisfy it, far from applying a therapy that he/she does not know if it will be successful, he/she chooses to refer. In these cases it is common to hear the phrase: "I'm sorry, I can't be your therapist. Here is a list of contacts of other professionals I trust and who can help you".

Among the main reasons why a psychologist may refuse to treat someone who comes to him or her, or decide to terminate an initiated therapy, we have the risk of dual relationships being formedThe risk of not being able to treat the patient's psychological problem or having some kind of possible conflict with the patient. Good psychologists are those who know when they cannot treat their patients, and choose to refer them to other therapists they know they can.

Possible reasons

Here are the 5 main reasons why a psychologist may refer the patient to another professional, or simply reject him/her.

1. Not specialized in the patient's disorder or problem

Psychologists specialized in the clinical field need to be trained in Clinical Psychology to be able to do psychotherapy, at least in Spain. However, despite having received specific training to treat patients, they are not always prepared for all types of psychological problems, they are not always prepared for all types of psychological problems..

There are cases in which the complexity of the patient's disorder prevents the professional from adequately performing his or her work. As we have already mentioned, the psychologist is governed by the principle of beneficence and, if he/she is unable to comply with it, he/she will choose to refer the patient to another professional who is more qualified for his/her specific case.

This is clearly visible in cases where the patient has a personality disorder, eating disorder, autism, sexual dysfunction or post-traumatic stress disorder. These are disorders disorders that require very specific and intensive training, which it is difficult for a psychologistwhich is difficult for a general clinical psychologist to have.

2. Has a previous relationship with the patient

Psychologists often hear phrases like "Now that you are a psychologist, why don't you treat Fulanita? She needs help and since she is your cousin you can do it for free".

To begin with, we are not going to work for free. We didn't study for four years or more to do psychotherapy for nothing in return. And secondly, there is the main reason why we cannot intervene: it is unethical.

Treating a friend, a family member or a person with whom we have some kind of personal or economic relationship, beyond the psychological oneis not going to be a good idea. We will not be able to carry out the therapy in the most neutral way possible, in addition to the fact that our feelings and the previous data we have about the "patient" will prevent us from being able to carry out the process objectively.

For example, let's imagine that we are in therapy with our best friend. To begin with, we have a strong relationship with him, so we will have a bias about anything he has done, relativizing or considering it "less bad". It may also be the case that he confesses something to us that we don't like, causing our relationship with him to change, negatively affecting both of us.

As he is our friend, we run the risk that, far from giving the most appropriate treatment to him, we think about our relationship and only that. This may mean that we intervene without respecting the principle of beneficence, and are clearly not acting in the best interest of our friend.

It is for this reason that any patient who comes for consultation we should have met him/her at the moment, without any previous relationship of any kind beyond that of former patient if that is the case.

3. You are seeing a family member, friend or other person close to the patient.

Unless the psychologist specializes in couples therapy, family therapy or is a child psychologist, ideally, any therapist should not be treating patients who are closely related to each other..

Let's try to explain this further. Let's imagine that we are treating a man named Menganito. Menganito comes because he feels betrayed by his friend Paquito, a person we don't know. He starts talking to us about how Paquito has hurt him, tells us what he thinks about him and, in short, confesses a lot of personal aspects of his relationship with this friend of his.

One day, Paquito comes to us, who also wants to receive psychotherapy. He has discovered us in another way, not because Menganito has recommended it to him. Now we are in the situation that we know things about Paquito without him having told us himself, but rather his friend Menganito. In turn, we can know things that Menganito has told us that Paquito should know if we want to wish him well, but we would be revealing secrets.

In this particular case, the psychologist is faced with a very difficult situation.. He has two patients who are closely related to each other, and whatever he does may affect one positively and the other negatively. It is possible that by recommending to Menganito to stay away from Paquito, we might do to the latter, which would not be complying with the principle of beneficence. Also, we may tell Paquito things that Menganito has said that affect him, violating the principle of confidentiality.

4. Some characteristic of the patient prevents the therapist from working in a professional manner.

Psychologists are also human beings: they have feelings, thoughts and emotions. It may be the case that they are unable to care for a patient at all because they know of a personality trait of the patient or an event from their past which conflicts directly with their value and belief system.. This makes it impossible for them to practice psychotherapy with that patient in the most professional manner possible.

For example, if the therapist is Jewish and receives a patient with a history of having been part of neo-Nazi groups, no matter how much he no longer associates with these types of people, the psychologist will not feel comfortable working with this patient. It is clear that in the consultation he/she will not be able to avoid being prejudiced and and fear in the presence of the patient.. It could even be the case that, unconsciously, he/she applies a therapy that harms the patient as "revenge".

5. He/she has worked with this patient before and considers that there is nothing more to do.

There are people who will need to see a psychologist all their lives, others will only need to go for a few years, and the more fortunate ones will only require a few months. Each case is unique and may require more or less time for healing, depending on the psychological problem and the patient's ability to progress.

In the most positive cases it happens that the patient has managed to overcome all the problems for which he/she has come to the consultation, making further therapy no longer necessary. It is clear that it would be more profitable for the professional to continue the treatment, continuing to charge the patient, but it would be unethical to stretch out the therapy for a longer period of time. it would be unethical to stretch the therapy any longer than necessary.. For this reason, when the end comes, patient and psychologist say goodbye.

What can happen in many occasions is that the patient, in spite of having fixed everything that had to be treated, needs his psychologist. It is as if it were an addiction: he feels he must see him. The psychologist can see that the patient, when returning to consultation, does not do so because he/she has new problems to be treated, but because he/she longs to go to therapy. As professionals, therapists must know how to see this situation and specify to the patient that he/she does not need more therapy.that everything that needed to be solved has already been solved.

Bibliographical references:

• American Psychological Association (1981). Ethical Principles of Psychologists. American Psychologist, 36(6), 633-638.
• American Psychological Association (1985). Rules and procedures. American Psychologist, 40(6), 685-694.
• Fierro, A. (2000). Sobre la vida feliz. Málaga: Aljibe.
• Hare-Mustin R.T. and Hall, J. E. (1981). Procedures for responding to ethics complaints against psychologists. American Psychologist, 36(12), 1494-1505.
• Martín Serrano, M. (1977). Professionals in capitalist society. Madrid: Pablo del Río.