The value of emotions

Several key ideas about the potential of managing emotions.

What is the reason for emotions?

To answer this, it is necessary to understand what emotions are, why they appear to us and in what way.

What is the value of emotions?

Emotions are responses that we have to events, but preceded by cognitions that can be more or less conscious. Therefore, emotions have, in a certain sense, a cognitive dimensionThey involve thoughts, beliefs, judgments and evaluations.

These are fundamental, because without them we could not remember, learn or have social relationships... Their function was very adaptive and useful for our ancestors because if a predatory animal came, they felt fear and ran away.

But, nowadays... We have to know what to do with our emotions in every situation because, for example, we can't run away if we are afraid that our boss will fire us from our job. And, besides, we live in such a fast-paced world that we don't have the time or space to deal with our emotions and attend to them ..... It is then that they perpetuate themselves, become chronic and suffering appears.

They develop physiological physiological expressions and they are accompanied by reactions of pleasure or pain depending on the valence that is given in relation to the coping that is done. And therefore, depending on how all the above arises, finally emotions induce us to perform certain actions; depending on how we take them and manage them.

Good or bad? Judgments

Normally we have always associated certain emotions to negative aspects and others to positive aspects. But we have really made it that way because of the way we value those emotions or manage them. We are not taught how to manage anxiety or sadness when they are just as valuable as joy and surprise..

We usually get distressed when we feel "negative emotions" because we don't know how to give them space.... We simply try to avoid them and not to enter into them; it is then when they become bigger, more intense...

Normally we resist to feel certain emotions because we have certain preconceived ideas about ourselves that are idealized and not real. This way of dealing with emotions, promotes security in the short term, but in the long run can cause deterioration, immobility and frustration.

Basic emotions

Although the emotional universe of humans is broad and complex (much has been written about it in recent years in fields such as psychology and medicine), it is not always easy to understand the basic emotions of humans. we are going to focus on four basic and universal emotions related to stressfear, anger, sadness and joy. Below we summarize their manifestations, expression, usefulness, limitations, temporal focus and distortions.

• Fear: helps us to discern dangers, flee from dangers, protect loved ones, plan and prepare, and take precaution.
• Anger: defending loved ones and rights, setting limits, facing dangers and enemies, competitiveness, overcoming and taking risks.
• Sadness: taking losses, healing psychological wounds, asking for help and giving help, reflecting, and learning from mistakes.
• Joy: nurture, grow, develop, create social bonds, creativity, participate, innovate, discover, motivate and strive.

What to do with emotions?

For emotional management it is essential, first of all, to work on the prejudices we have towards certain emotions. Because if we anchor ourselves in the thought and in the self-demand that we cannot feel certain emotions, we will not be able to move forward.

Many times we anchor ourselves and block ourselves with certain emotions because we want to find reasons why it appears to us, from a place of anger. And this has to do with the sense of identity because we have some preconceived ideas of ourselves and, for example ... if one day anxiety appears in a person who thinks he is strong, he will not allow himself to feel it.

Behind every emotion there is a message. Emotions appear as a reaction to what we are experiencing, therefore... we must pay special attention to these processes and pay attention to what is happening inside us. We must ask ourselves what this emotion wants to tell us, why it is appearing at that moment.

Only from here is from where we can transform the emotions to a place where things can be better understood. Because emotions are excellent vehicles for change. They help us grow and have better ideas of who we are. When we take responsibility for them, even if there is some risk in the short term... in the long term there will be prosperity, resilience, health and well-being.

But this can only happen when we know how to manage our emotions well, trusting our resources to go through the discomfort of this process. Because crises and suffering (in conditions of safety) can transform Pain into resilience, health and well-being..

Strategies for emotional management

The main step to be able to carry out a good emotional management is not to react, but to respond with awareness and calm to them. Therefore, the following steps are necessary:

Create a pause between stimulus and response 2.

This helps not to react in an impulsive way, but to do this process with more calm and pause... to be able to freely decide how and with what resources to act and not to respond automatically. freely decide how and with what resources to act and not to respond automatically..

2. Directing the attention inward

It is advisable to direct the attention towards what is moving inside us and to really see what we are feeling, to name it, to recognize it.

3. To understand why we are feeling this emotion

Find the utility and what message that emotion wants to tell us.

4. Accept that we are having that emotion and all its nuances.

Only from the acceptance and not from the resistance, is from where change and development change and development can arise.

5. Modulate the response

What can we do with this, to feel better? Apply transformance. Each emotion and emotional process will have its best response for each person and context..

Depending on the context and with special care, we can pay attention to the effect of the emotion and its expression both on ourselves and on others. This is the only way to decide which emotions we want to express and with whom we want to express them.

Finally, those that we do not want to express, we will let them pass until they weaken, trying to use the strategies that best suit us and help us to go through this discomfort (a pleasant or relaxing activity, breathing, meditation, socializing, unwinding with sport, etc.).