Couple problems: what causes them, and how they are treated in psychology

Let's take a look at the frequent causes of relationship problems and how to solve them.

Couple problems are the main source of discomfort for many people around the world. around the world, and that is why psychologists are used to dealing with this kind of crisis frequently.

This is because it is common to experience difficulties in love bonds: in addition to problems in private life that affect the way we relate to our loved one, there are also setbacks that arise within the relationship itself.

In this article we will see what aspects of our lives influence the way in which we live couple problems, and what can be done from the psychological intervention to solve them.

How do couple problems arise? Main factors

There are an infinite number of reasons why relationship problems may arise, since each person is unique.since each person is unique. However, in general it is possible to identify a series of factors that especially influence the probabilities of experiencing this kind of conflicts. They are the following.

1. Personality style

Generally speaking it is not true that having very different personalities is beneficial for the couple.. In fact, if this factor has an impact on the health of the relationship, it is negative (at least statistically). It is easier to reach a point where there is incompatibility of priorities and motivations if both partners are too different.

Moreover, regardless of the degree of similarity between the two people, those who adopt a pattern of behavior that corresponds with a personality of strong neuroticismThey also tend to experience more problems in their relationships and marriages. This does not mean that they are predestined to fail in their love life or that they cannot learn to regulate their actions in order to be with someone, of course. It simply means that as a rule they have it a little more difficult.

2. Values and beliefs

Talking about values and beliefs may seem very abstract, but they really do have an effect on the health of relationships. Seeing the person we love behave in a way that clashes with our value system can, in the long run, lead to resentment, reproach and resentment, can lead to resentment, reproaches and arguments.especially if those values have to do with the love relationship in a very direct way.

3. Lack of time together

We must not forget that love does not appear out of nowhere: it needs to be constantly nourished by time spent in the company of the boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.

This is sometimes complicated, especially if there are family reconciliation problems due to poor working conditions. However, at other times it is not the quantity, but the quality of the time spent under the same roof that at other times it is not the quantity but the quality of the time spent under the same roof that is at fault.. Boredom and monotony can mean that the only kind of meaningful interaction between the members of a relationship are arguments.

4. Communication problems

Communication failures are also one of the common reasons for problems in a couple. These cause misunderstandings and moments of ambiguity that in the long run end up deriving in frustration and irritability.and even serious coordination errors.

5. Sexual difficulties

Many problems in the intimate and sexual life have a psychological origin. For example, it is very common for insecurity to cause not only dissatisfaction in this aspect of life, but even self-esteem problems and taboos.

6. Infidelity

Infidelity is another of the usual problems for which couples come to the psychologist's office. For this reason, on many occasions, what psychology professionals do is to look into the past of the relationship, to see if there have been episodes of infidelity and if there may be old grudges, something that is not always communicated directly during the first phases of the psychological intervention.

7. Jealousy

Another of the problematic factors that we see most often in psychological sessions with patients are conflicts due to excessive jealousy. The insecurity and the feeling that the courtship or marriage can break up at any moment The jealousy caused by the interference of a third person can cause a great deal of anguish both for the person experiencing the jealousy and for the other partner, who feels controlled.

8. Anxiety

Anxiety and stress do not necessarily have to be caused by what happens when relating to the person you love (in fact, they usually have to do with what happens at work, or with health problems), but it is clear that it affects the emotional development of the couple. For this reason, it is one of the aspects to which psychologists attach most importance in consultation.

How does a psychologist work to help couples in crisis?

We have already seen the most common types of origin of the couple's problems; now let's see how we work from psychology, let's see how psychology works to find solutions to these cases.. The good news is that the probabilities of obtaining significant improvements in the degree of solidity and satisfaction are high, around 80% of the cases.

Psychological professionals work with each member of the relationship individually, as well as with the couple as a whole, to detect contexts and situations that are maintaining and feeding the couple's crisis.

Then, based on this information, we intervene on the patients' ideas and beliefs, as well as on their habits, so that they are capable of interpreting what is happening to them in a more constructive way and at the same time have ways of embracing healthier ways of relating. All this, having identified the personality styles of each patient, the goals and motivations of each one, their problematic or potentially beneficial behavioral patterns, etc.

In short, finding a solution to relationship problems involves internalizing new habits both at the cognitive level (ideas and beliefs) and behavioral level (ways of interacting with the environment and with others); in this way, both dimensions of the psychological are reinforced in oneself and in the person we love, and the transition from a love crisis to a new phase of mutual discovery is possible.