The 5 types of embarrassment and their characteristics

A review of the different types of shame, with the keys to distinguish them.

Shame is a tremendously common feeling. All human beings experience it to a greater or lesser extent.

But it is not as simple a phenomenon as it may seem, since it can have very different expressions depending on the situation or the person. That is why we will dedicate this article to delve deeper into this issue in order to to know more about the types of embarrassment and its implications.

What does the feeling of shame consist of?

Before we launch into listing the different types of shame, we must first learn more about what this emotion consists of. Shame is a feeling of negative character (in that it is not pleasant for the one who suffers it) that is generated as a result of an unfavorable evaluation that the person is making about himself/herself as a result of a certain situation.

Embarrassment generally arises as a consequence of a conscious interpretation of the facts experienced in which the individual perceives that he/she has failed to honor him/herself through a reproachable behavior.. Later we will explore the various types of shame that exist and we will realize that this fault does not necessarily have to be present, since self-perception is a key phenomenon in this matter.

Shame, historically has been related to the concept of ignominy, which means very serious offense and whose etymology, coming from Latin, refers to the loss of the name, a very graphic description of the consequences that a negative act has on the honor of the person who carries it out.

When a person feels shame, a series of negative reactions and thoughts are generated, involving loss of self-confidence, loss of self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and loss of trust. Likewise, one feels exposed in front of others, as it is usually the reaction of others that triggers some types of shame.

The person who is experiencing this emotion feels, therefore, great distress, for all these reasons. Charles Darwin himself already pointed out in his works some of the physiological reactions of this emotion. For example, he pointed out blushing, one of the hallmarks of shame, which consists of a process of vasodilation in the subject's face that causes a very characteristic coloration externally.

In fact, the fact that the person knows that he or she is physically expressing embarrassment and is being visible to others can paradoxically increase the feeling of embarrassment, causing both sensations to feed back on each other. Other physical characteristics that occur in the different types of embarrassment and that Darwin described are the fact of directing the eyes and head downward, relaxing the body posture and feeling troubled.

Later, however, an attempt was made to record exactly the symptomatology accompanying the feeling of shame. Some points coincided with Darwin's, others disagreed and others added information. The so-called shame code states that this feeling is associated with tension in both the body and the muscles of the face.. The person tends to stand still and feel an internal agitation.

Likewise, he/she will feel nervous and therefore an avoidant attitude towards the other people present will be initiated. It is possible that his tone of voice is also affected, denoting nervousness in his words, or he may opt for silence.

Although many of these characteristics coincide with shyness, it is important not to confuse the two issues, as they are different elements. Shyness is a trait of some people, while embarrassment is a state that anyone can experience at any given moment under a series of circumstances that we will see below.

What are the types of embarrassment?

After a first part dedicated to explaining what this feeling consists of, we can now give way to the different types of shame, in order to know the peculiarities and differences between one and the other.

1. Pure shame

The purest form of shame is the one we have been developing since the beginning of this article. It is the one that is triggered by a grievance towards another person and that triggers the perception of dishonor in the person who has caused it, and therefore, the shame is the result of a wrongdoing.and, therefore, shame. Of all the types of shame, this is the most general, being a feeling that all people have experienced to a greater or lesser extent at some time.

2. False shame

The next in the types of shame may be surprising. It is the expression of false embarrassment, which is given by a situation in which the person, in reality, has not committed the affront of which he is accused, and is therefore being unjustly reproved. However, he experiences the feeling of shame, being equally accused.

He may even doubt his conduct and think that he is actually entitled to the condemnation to which he is being subjected.

3. Shame of shame

Another type of shame is precisely a form of meta-shame. What does it consist of? This typology appears when the person has experienced this emotion, for example, by being aware of the offense he/she has committed against another person and therefore begins to feel the sensations that accompany it. This is the trigger for the so-called secret shame, which is the shame of being ashamed. the shame of being ashamed.

When feeling this type of shame, it is common for affected persons to try to conceal the symptomatology, because that is precisely what is triggering this second phase of shame.

4. Toxic shame

In the types of shame we also find a very specific modality that occurs under really extreme conditions. This is toxic embarrassment, and it is a reaction that some children a reaction suffered by some children who, unfortunately, have been victims of sexual abuse..

These people usually suffer from a dissociation when it comes to managing such shame, which causes it to remain encapsulated until the subject has the necessary resources to cope with it.

Note that in this type of shame, the person who suffers it is far from being the one who has committed the affront, but quite the opposite. She is doubly victimized, firstly because of the abuse she suffered and secondly because of the guilt and shame she experienced because of the abuse, for which she had no responsibility.

5. Shame of others

The last of the types of shame of shame that we can list is none other than vicarious shame, popularly known as shame of others. This is an indirect way of experiencing embarrassment, since the person who is feeling this typology is not the one who has committed the infraction nor the one who has been affected by it, but is a spectator of it.but is a spectator of the scene.

Thus, the individual who feels vicarious shame is empathizing with the person who feels genuine shame, and therefore shares, to some extent, some of the symptoms of this emotion with the offender. Sometimes it may even be the case that the person who feels the shame of others is experiencing it more intensely than the other subject.

Shame as a social stigma

We have compiled the different types of shame that are known. Now we will stop to make a quick analysis of the importance that shame has had historically in societies as a stigma, sometimes with serious repercussions for those who have suffered it.

At different times and in different places, the so-called badge of shame has come to be worn, a badge with which the person living in this situation could be publicly identified.This was a badge with which the person could be publicly identified, so that everyone, even if they were not aware of the affront, could mock the individual in an act that was sometimes truly cruel.

This mark, which could sometimes consist of a particular garment, a badge, a cap or even a physical mark, was an indication that the person should be ashamed of his actions, was the indication by which the person was to be ashamed of their actions and would be persecuted for them. Usually they were also ostracized, ceasing all kinds of social relations, since the rest of the people did not want to be seen interacting with a marked person.

In some cases the symbol even consisted of depriving the subject of his shoes, making him walk barefoot or even naked, to atone for his guilt. A tattoo or even a brand with fire could also be made, so that the person would be marked for life.

Undoubtedly, this phenomenon represents one of the most humiliating forms of expression for those people who are living any of the types of shame that we have known throughout these paragraphs.

Bibliographical references:

• Broucek, F. (1991). Shame and the Self. Guilford Press, New York.
• Darwin, C. (1872). The expression of the emotions in man and animals. London: John Murray.
• Hinshaw, S. (2006). Mark of Shame: Stigma of Mental Illness and an Agenda for Change. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
• Kaufman, G. (1992). Shame: The Power of Caring. Schenkman Books, Rochester.
• Tangney, J.P., Miller, R.S., Flicker, L., Barlow, D.H. (1996). Are shame, guilt, and embarrassment distinct emotions? Journal of Personal Social Psychology.