The 6 challenges of parenting

Challenges that appear to us as we advance in the process of raising a child.

Parenting is an internal process by which we feel capable of being parents and bonding with our children. However, this is not an easy task. In this article we will see what are the main challenges of parenting, and the implications of each one.and the implications of each of them in our lives.

The main challenges of parenting, explained.

In the 21st century, parenting requires a significant ability to tolerate uncertainty and adapt to change at great speed. But there is one thing that remains the same, despite historical and cultural changes: the need to create a secure and supportive bond..

In this process, there are some challenges that we will have to face in order to respond to our children's needs in a "good enough" way:

1. Feeling grown up.

Regardless of our age, the degree of maturity we feel can vary. When we feel adult, we take responsibility for our own lives and position ourselves as the protagonists of our own lives.. Having reached a certain degree of internal coherence and confidence in our resources facilitates the task of being parents.

2. Resignifying one's own bonds

When we become parents, we place ourselves in a completely new role that is qualitatively different from any other bond we have experienced before. From this new position, our image as children and siblings can change and take on new meanings..

Especially important is the reacquaintance of the bond with our parents. The image we had about them can change, understanding their behaviors from another perspective.

3. Caring, sustaining and teaching the world

The main parental functions are to care for, support and teach children about the world. In caring for them, we provide them with basic physical care but we also help them to know and coordinate their own bodies. When we talk about the ability to support, we are referring to the acceptance of their emotions, whatever they may be.

As parents, one of our tasks is based on helping our children to express their emotions in an appropriate and tolerable manner.. In addition, when we introduce them to objects and show them the world, we help them to relate to and inhabit it.

4. Accept imperfection

From the moment the desire to have a child arises, we also begin to visualize ourselves as mothers or fathers. We imagine what our child will be like and what we will be like as parents.. But when the baby is born and, as he/she grows, one of the tasks to be performed will be to get to know him/her and discover what he/she is really like. If the reality is very different from the expectations we had, difficulties may appear.

In the relationship with the children, there will be moments of frustration, of greater and lesser understanding, but if we accept this as something normal, without hyperexigence or guilt, the capacity to contain and sustain will be maintained.

5. Facilitate differentiation

As soon as the baby is born, it is totally dependent on our care and our attention and appreciation. If everything goes well we will develop our sensitivity to tune in to their needs and respond to them.. We will also be able to admire him.

But, as they grow, this dependence should become less and less, as our children learn and develop resources to do things on their own. It is important to allow them space and time to develop their own abilities, both at the instrumental level and in terms of self-regulation and emotional support.

6. Transmitting the will to live

Children pick up on our emotions and feel the family atmosphere. It is not a matter of denying negative emotions or of always being happy, but of transmitting that life is worth living and letting them feel it. and to let them experience it at their own pace.

Conclusion

In summary, from the very moment that the desire to have a child appears in us, we assume ourselves as adults, responsible and with resources to face up to the upbringing. We may face some challenges, especially when we have had difficulties in our relationship with our family of origin or have developed very high expectations regarding parenthood.

In any case, it is not about being perfect, but about being receptive and available to our children.. Our main function as parents is to give our children the ability to be themselves. That is, the ability to think for themselves and the confidence that they have the resources to cope with their own lives.

Bibliographical references:

• Rotenberg, E. (2010). Hijos difíciles - Padres desorientados. Buenos Aires: Lugar. - Dio Bleichmar, E. (2005). Manual de psicoterapia de la relación padres e hijos. Barcelona: Paidós.