The key social skills to improve your relationships

A series of skills to apply in everyday conversations.

What we know as social skills are one of the contents that we most frequently intervene in the psychology office. These skills make it easier for us to increase our well-being with ourselves as well as in our relationship with others. Social skills can and should be learned.

If you are able to use them consistently you will be able to show them naturally; with almost no effort, they will become a habit for you.

Social skills to improve your relationships

Here are the following social skills to improve your day-to-day relationships, divided according to the phase of communication.

1. When starting a conversation

You should try to express yourself naturallyshow interest and put yourself in the other person's place, be empathetic.

Greet and introduce yourself (if the interlocutor does not know you). Look into the eyes when conversing with the other person. Try to say the positive characteristics of the other person without coming across as "artificial". Your goal is to convey a good image to the person you are talking to. It would be interesting for you to comment or ask about the reason for the encounter.

Try to modulate the volume of your voice so that it is neither too high nor too low, nor have inappropriate body postures.

2. When having a conversation

Listen actively, showing interest. There must be a proportionality between what you speak and what you listen to so that you and your interlocutor can both intervene and express yourselves.

Make gestures to show that you are listening, and when you want to intervene. It is very important that you maintain eye contact. What you convey verbally should be related to the object of interest of the meeting and avoid "beating around the bush". When you want to change the subject, say so. Do not use only monosyllables in your interventions.

3. When giving explanations

Explain why you are denying a request or a favor to a friend or acquaintance. You can offer an alternative solution. Distinguish the possible attempts of manipulation that can be made to you with:

• Gratuitous compliments ("since you are so good...", "since you always do so well...").
• Empty criticism ("I will never ask you again...", "don't worry, I will never ask you for help...").
• Feelings of guilt ("I didn't believe that about you...", "I'm sad because you don't help me...").

In these three cases you must empathize with the reasons that lead our friends or acquaintances to express themselves in this way, but you must stand firm if you are clear that your position is in your best interests.

4. To ask for a favor

It is common to think that others know what we need and/or want. This is usually not the case.

On certain occasions you will have to ask for a favor and you will have to do it with confidence that your loved ones will attend to your request. Don't assume that they will deny the favor right away.. And if they do, they will certainly have good reason to do so.

5. Serenity in the face of criticism

In the face of criticism, do not let yourself be carried away by the initial impulse.Reason, weigh and reflect on what they are saying to you.

Do not consider criticism as an attack. Your first reaction is probably an immediate defense through a justification or a counterattack. Avoid both the counterattack and the systematic defense.

6. Firmness

This is what I recommend when it comes to accepting or rejecting another person.

Life is a paradox. Many times you put up with people you can't stand or don't like, and yet you attack those you love the most? Is it because you are confident? Show firmness in these situations, whether it is to consolidate friendships or not to keep company that does not interest you. To do so, I suggest you use the following behaviors appropriately:

Approaching

Smile, keep your gaze, position your body towards the other person and demonstrate with words and gestures the interest we have in what he/she says or does, etc.

Rejection

Showing verbally and non-verbally in a polite way what is necessary for the other person to perceive our feeling of lack of interest, responding to their comments with monosyllables, looking away, saying goodbye politely.

7. Acknowledging mistakes

Express humility We all make mistakes that we should recognize, as this is for mature and balanced people.

Besides, if you apologize, you will even gain respect and social recognition. If you hide your mistakes, you will show weakness.

8. Receiving recognition

Do not resort to false modesty when you are complimented or recognition for a job well done. Consider that compliments are sincere when they come from people around you who you know value you.

I recommend that you thank and accept the recognition from the one who does it. Say thank you and express the great effort and effort you have put in to achieve what the other person values.

9. Admitting your lack of knowledge

You don't have to know everything. You should consider that admitting that you don't know about the topic of a conversation is not a bad thing.is not a bad thing.

Avoid arrogance and do not use phrases such as: "yes, I already knew...", "you are going to tell me...", even if you knew them in advance. On the contrary, I recommend that you show interest in what the others are talking about, even if you know more about the subject than your companions.

If you do not know what the topic is about, you should not let yourself be carried away by thoughts such as "what will they think if I say I don't know...", "I should know more about what they are talking about...". Giving importance to these thoughts will not help you.

10. At the end of the conversation

You have to get to the point to finish and not to extend the conversation longer than necessary.

Surely you have "suffered" conversations that never seemed to end. You have every right in the world to choose and express with all sincerity your desire to end the conversation. Therefore, do not consider it impolite to interrupt the person who is speaking to you, believing that he/she will be offended. You have to say something like, "Sorry to interrupt you, but I have to leave...".