How to assert yourself in front of others, in 8 steps

Several guidelines on how to assert yourself in conversations, speaking clearly and directly.

There are people who find it difficult to assert themselves when talking to others, or with people or groups in particular. This can be a major drawback, because the image of insecurity that they transmit means that what they say is not taken into account or even that, by extension, they are not taken into account.

In this article we will look at several tips on how to assert yourself when speaking, both in terms of both in terms of the content of what is said and the way it is said, including nonverbal language.

How to assert yourself in conversations and relationships.

Interpersonal relationships and the conversations that take place in them are always complex.

On the one hand, making oneself understood and interpreting correctly what the other person is saying is already complicated, but to this we must add that through dialogue we also have to resolve clashes of interests, opinions and beliefs. Although the ability to use language has given us the ability to connect better with others, it has also made it possible for us to use words to has also made us use words to assert ourselves, to subdue or to be subdued.We also use words to subjugate or to be subjugated and, if we do not realize it, to enter into dynamics that wear down our self-esteem.

As a consequence, there are people who have entered into a dynamic in which they do not know how to express their ideas without feeling vulnerable, insecure. These are individuals who need to learn (and get used to) speaking with confidence, defending their point of view.

It is necessary to break this habit, which is composed of a set of habits related to the way of speaking and communicating in general, to gain confidence in personal relationships. So, to assert yourself, it is advisable that you follow the following key ideas.

1. Identify what you fail at most.

There are different ways to speak with insecurity. So the first thing to do is to see where we need to make the most noticeable changes in the way we speak and behave in conversations.

A good way to start is to become familiar with the concept of passive communication, which is the most typical for people who need to learn to speak with confidence. This communicative style is characterized by the avoidance of direct confrontation, the avoidance of expressing one's own needs, and the avoidance of the need to express oneself.The expression of one's own needs and feelings, and the maintenance of a low profile.

2. Make sure to maintain eye contact

It is very important that most of the time there is eye contact, because if not, whoever is avoiding it will offer an image of insecurity, in addition to hindering communication. To solve this, the easiest way is not to become obsessed with looking right into the other person's eyes, and to limit oneself to not looking away from the other person's face. In this way, without realizing it and in a spontaneous way, the gazes will meet and the contact will be maintained without you having to worry too much about it..

3. Do not maintain a contracted posture.

Avoid postures and positions that keep your arms and legs too close to your vertical axis. Try to relax your muscles and let your arms move freely, keeping your forearms away from your chest for most of the time (instead of keeping your arms crossed). (instead of keeping your arms crossed or keeping them with your hands close to your chest).

4. Get used to speaking loudly

It is important that the volume of your voice is adequate. There are insecure people who, to avoid making a fool of themselves, try not to make what they say too noticeable, but this is something to avoid.However, this is something to avoid, since it puts the person who gets used to speaking in this way into a submissive role.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to practice in front of a mirror and improvise so that, little by little, this voice volume becomes more familiar and is the one used spontaneously, by default. It is important to do this with a certain regularity, so as not to lose part of the progress achieved in the previous sessions.

5. Avoid literally memorizing whole sentences

There are people who try to compensate for their insecurity in speaking by meticulously planning what they are going to say in a conversation. This is something that can create more problems than it solvesThis is because it requires more concentration than it would cost to simply speak spontaneously, since you have to constantly remember what you have to say according to a previously prepared script.

Thus, the ideal is in any case to plan in advance, very briefly and only for important conversations, ideas that can be dealt with in a conversation, but without memorizing sentences.

6. Work on your self-esteem

Part of the problem of speaking with insecurity has to do with something that goes beyond communication and dialogue itself: it is about self-esteem. Working on it so that it does not deflate is important, because part of the problem often has to do with a lack of self-esteem. often has to do with a lack of self-confidence in oneself and in what one can offer in and what you can offer in a conversation. With a few months of practice, if necessary by seeing a psychologist, it will be much easier to assert yourself.

7. Reflect and learn

This is another way to gain confidence when speaking: to have conversation topics. To do this, it is important not only to be original when it comes to making dialogues veer towards interesting topics, but also to have certain knowledge to transmit. have some knowledge to pass on, even if it is only personalEven if they are only personal reflections or interesting opinions that are not necessarily based on the memorization of concrete data. When a person feels that by the simple fact of having some knowledge of something it can be very easy to make a dialogue something interesting, that gives him/her a lot of security.

8. Work on your assertiveness

Expressing ideas or opinions that do not fit with those of others is not a bad thing; it is natural. Therefore, it is necessary to work on assertiveness, which has to do with our ability to express ourselves, defending our point of view while respecting others. express ourselves by defending our point of view while respecting others..