How to Forget Someone for a While and Feel Better: 10 Tips
In some cases, giving ourselves a break from thinking about someone is advisable.
In certain contexts of life, many people feel the desire to forget certain people who were important to them in the past.
Breakups, bereavement processes, dismissal from work... Everyone may have their own reasons to feel frightened by painful memories. to feel frightened by painful memories, but the truth is that sometimesBut the truth is that sometimes it is good to take action against this form of discomfort.
In this article we will review some of the psychological keys on how to forget someone, even if it is not in a definitive wayEven if it is not in a definitive way and it obeys simply to the will to feel better in a bad moment.
How to forget someone?
Once we have met a person that information is processed unconsciously by our higher mental processes.
The face, the voice, the skin color, etc.... These are some of the first characteristics that we internalize from others at the moment we meet them, as we get to know someone to a greater degree we discover new things in this person and there are more and more characteristics that we memorize. Getting to know someone is a process that takes time, and forgetting someone, too.
The term "forgetting someone" refers to a state of overcoming that is reached when the memory of a person no longer affects us negatively.. Let's see how this can be achieved.
1. Adopt a more realistic perspective
See things as they are really happening and not as we would like them to be. Avoid denial, face reality as it is, even if you don't like it at the moment. This will prevent you from wasting time and energy trying to change something you can't. This is one of the best tips on how to let go of someone who is having trouble accepting the way their life has changed lately.
2. Don't hold on to the past
Understand that time is constantly moving, and that means that circumstances can change from one moment to the next; we must adapt to the changes. To insist on things always being the same is irrational and unhealthy.
3. Avoid repressing our emotions
We do not have to keep quiet about what we feel. In fact, expressing our emotions helps greatly to forget someone. We must allow ourselves the possibility to say what we feel. We can talk about it with a good friend, or go to therapy, if necessary.
4. Resume old hobbies
Taking time to reconnect with ourselves is essential when we intend to forget someone. Returning to activities that we used to enjoy is a good way to do this; this helps to focus our mind on ourselves and is a way to prevent intrusive thoughts.
5. Give ourselves the opportunity to meet new people
When the time comes, once we have taken time to reconnect with ourselves, it is good to interact with new people. Give ourselves the chance to get to know someone and enjoy the process.. Not all men are the same, and neither are all women...
6. Avoid the state of anxiety
Just because we have been failed in the past does not mean that the same thing will happen in the future. Bad experiences serve us as lessons; the ideal is to nourish ourselves from them to realize that we are not alone. what aspects of our personality we need to work on to make us stronger in the face of adversity.
We don't have to think that we will do badly in the future, because it doesn't have to be that way.
7. Avoid unnecessary contact
This refers to voluntarily decreasing the probability of having information about the person we want to forget.. Avoid calls, text messages, "accidental" meetings... it is even advisable to remove the person from social networks so as not to come across his or her updates.
8. Get rid of intimacy with that person
The less close we are with the person we want to forget, the closer we will be to achieving it. This includes both physical and emotional intimacy. Avoiding having long and deep conversations with that person is a goal we must achieve.
Sleeping with someone you want to forget is counterproductive for both sexes, but it is especially detrimental for women. Physical intimacy causes women to produce oxytocin, a hormone that triggers feelings of connection and affection.
9. Keeping any memories out of sight
Even if we have successfully severed contact with the person we wish to forget, we may find it particularly difficult to do so if we have a strong desire to forget, it will be particularly difficult for us to do so if we have in visible places in our house objects that bring back memories of that person, such as letters, anniversary gifts, etc., in our home.for example letters, anniversary gifts, etc. ....
The ideal is to move those things away from our sight. We do not have to throw them in the trash, it is enough to keep them in a place where they are not exposed to our eyes.
10. Understand that everything is ephemeral
This step is fundamentally important to our goal, because if we succeed in changing our thinking about social relationships, we will also make it easier to deal with the natural processes of society.
Forgetting is a natural part of social life.. Keeping in mind that nothing lasts forever, we can enjoy our relationships in a healthy way, rejoicing in the good times and coping with the bad. If it is time to say goodbye, we will be able to do it with our heads held high, knowing that there will always be new people, new experiences.
To conclude
Depending on our personality characteristics, some steps on how to forget someone may be easier than others; we must be able to identify this and put special effort in those that are more complicated.
And if you consider that it is worth having professional help, there are psychotherapists specialized in couple's breakup that can be very useful, and that can also attend you both in person and online.
Bibliographical references:
- Dudai, Y. (2006). "Reconsolidation: the advantage of being refocused". Current Opinion in Neurobiology. 16 (2): 174-178.
- LeDoux, J.E. (2007) Consolidation: Challenging the traditional view. In: Roediger, H. L., Dudai, Y. and Fitzpatrick S. M., eds. Science of Memory: Concepts. New York: Oxford University Press, pp. 171-175.
(Updated at Apr 15 / 2024)