What to do about friends who ignore you, in 5 steps

There are times when a relationship seems to break down and you don't talk to someone anymore. What to do?

Friendship often has fuzzy boundaries. Some friends need to see each other almost every day to feel good, and others can get by with seeing each other once a year.

Precisely because of this, sometimes there are situations of ambiguity or in which a slight conflict becomes entrenched and results in a refusal to talk to solve it. This is what happens when one friend ignores another, or when both ignore each other.or when both ignore each other. Before this type of experiences, it is complicated to know what to do and how to reconduct the situation, or even to know if it is worthwhile to invest efforts to reconduct.

What to do when a friend ignores me?

When situations of incommunication appear In a relationship of this type, you should not sit back and do nothing; the more time passes, the more the problem may worsen, and although it is true that it can be solved by factors external to us, it is better not to tempt fate.

So, follow these tips and adapt them to your case to maximize the chances of clearing up the matter and making reconciliation happen.

1. Objectively analyze the situation

First of all, stop and think whether you really have reason to be concerned. Sometimes, fear of loneliness or rejection can cause us to see mirages, false situations of "danger" and isolation. For example, try to estimate in hours per week or minutes per day how often you interact with that person, and if it is much less than it used to be months ago.

2. Be interested in possible causes

The uncertainty and discomfort that arise when a friend ignores us can make us feel quite bad. On the one hand, there is the doubt as to whether this abrupt stop in the communication flow between two people is due to something that has happened. whether this abrupt stop in the communicative flow between two people is due to something that has happened (e.g., the other person has been offended by something) or by something that has (for example, the other has been offended by something) or because of something that has stopped happening (for example, the end of classes, the university being the only space that was shared). It can also be because of a combination of the above, of course.

So, to solve this problem, the first thing to do is to investigate the possible causes that have triggered it, even if at first we have little information. To do this, we must make a small initial investigation, which will consist of rejecting or confirming any suspicions we have about what is happening, and then ask the other person directly about what is happening, choosing an appropriate time and place that allows us to speak frankly and privately.

3. Analyze what is happening

At this stage, we must reflect on what we know about the case and see if we have had any responsibility for it. Have we done something that would give reason to break off the deal? Does the other person feel bad about something bad we have done? We must not forget that, in case this is due to a bad action on our part, These withdrawals of speech are something that helps us to reflect on the implications of what we do, its effects on other people, and on our own actions.their effects on other people.

However, we must be careful not to blame ourselves. At the end of the day, it is not always our responsibility when others feel bad about something we do.

4. Decide if the friendship makes sense

When a friend stops talking to us, it gives us information about what he or she expects from the relationship and why he or she relates to us. So, you have to stop and see with perspective if you really have reasons to stop talking to us or not, taking into account that by doing so you risk losing that friendship.

If you consider that this is a very extreme measure and that there are no valid reasons to do so, it is perfectly legitimate that you rethink if it is worthwhile to continue worrying about that person for whom you seem to exist more than you do. for whom you seem to exist rather little.

In case you conclude that it is not, or even that it is simply a strategy to make you feel guilty and that you go after him/her, generating a bond of dependence, you may have to go through a phase of sadness and mourning, but in the end you will surely overcome it.

5. Stop and talk

If until now your role has been that of a person who collects information, now is the time to create, to propose. Meet with your friend and let him or her express him or herself. Then, express yourself. Negotiating a solution is important for both of you to feel comfortable in this friendly relationship.

If the other person does not even want to do that, consider to what extent you want to continue insisting to fix things and, once this is done, inform the other person of the moment when you will stop trying to talk about it and assume that the friendship is definitely over. Although it is hard, it is necessary to be clear when a bond has been severed in order not to think about it obsessively, entailing hopes that only lead to frustration.