5 keys to generate intimacy in couple relationships.

Some tips to make the emotional connection go beyond the couple's routine.

Sometimes, starting to date someone and beginning to live an "official" couple relationship costs less than getting to create a shared intimacy between lovers. It's one thing for two people to consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's another to achieve a degree of true intimate connection.

For example, it is very easy to go to the movies together, spend pleasant moments talking or fit in well with each other's family and friends, but opening up in an honest way and even connecting physically through touching and non-verbal language can sometimes be difficult.

Here we will review some keys to relationships to develop a high degree of intimacy and emotional connection. and emotional connection.

Increase the degree of intimacy in love relationships.

To remove possible barriers that create unnecessary separation between lovers, it is essential to create an intense intimate connection between the two of you.

Review the imperfections you know about your partner.

Love exists because you know how to appreciate each other's uniqueness and unrepeatability, mortality and vulnerability.their mortality and their vulnerability. It may seem strange, but building intimacy in a relationship is based, among other things, on recognizing the imperfections in oneself and in the person you love.

Being aware at all times of the human and limited nature of the members of the couple means that the good actions performed by the other person are not viewed with suspicion, as if it were a strategy with instrumental purposes, as would a robot that follows programmed instructions to fulfill its function. On the other hand, by keeping in mind that the expressions of affection and affection are genuine and are born from the need to be in each other's company, they allow to receive them lowering the defenses.

2. Learn to give opportunities

There are people who have been so exposed to cruelty and betrayals that they find it difficult to trust even their partners, so that the degree of intimacy in the relationship is damaged. For example, certain caresses can generate more anxiety than pleasure, because they are performed in delicate areas (belly, neck, etc.).

In these cases, the best thing to do is to "force" oneself to trust the loved one, and to think that it is not really the loved one but the attempts to cross a certain threshold of intimacy that are causing anxiety. what generates anxiety is not her, but the attempts to cross a certain threshold of intimacy, something that at some point in the past brought us bad results and left an emotional imprint in our own mind.It is very useful to start by exposing oneself to the person we love, something that at some point in the past brought us bad results and left an emotional imprint in our own mind. It is very helpful to start by exposing ourselves to lighter forms of intimacy, and gradually progress from there.

Thus, leaving space for the other person to take the initiative and show that nothing is wrong is an excellent way for our body to get used to not activating the state of alert every time we expose our vulnerabilities.

3. Learn to give support and not practical advice when needed.

As emotional contexts, couple relationships are based more on affection than on giving advice and exchanging practical information about how things work. Ultimately the latter can be achieved through many means, but the companionship of a partner is unique, and offers the possibility of connecting at such a deep level that it goes beyond the simple "transmission of data".

That is why, in order to generate intimacy in love relationships, it is necessary to be clear that emotional support is the best we can give and that, for this, it is more useful to listen and empathize than to limit ourselves to transforming what we hear into indications and instructions on how the other person should live his or her life.

At the end of the day, most of the worries and problems that are discussed in the intimate context of a couple's relationship are not the result of a lack of information (in which case solving them would not be so difficult) but of aspects more related to one's own fears, situations that generate anxiety, etc.

4. It favors the appearance of those conversations

Through words it is also possible to build intimacy. However, at the beginning it is better not to do it in an abrupt and very direct way.

You can start by telling a very personal story about your past so that your partner starts to get into that story and the narration starts to remind him/her of it. the narrative begins to remind him or her of certain experiences in his or her life.. That way, starting with a story that resonates emotionally on both sides of the relationship, it is easier to start a spontaneous conversation about one's own intimate experiences, which normally do not come out in the open.

5. Don't judge or trivialize

It may seem very obvious, but in practice some people tend to use sarcasm and acid humor as a mechanism to trivialize stories about personal experiences and, thus, interrupt that conversation and change the subject (to start talking about something more comfortable and less compromising). Avoid this and, when you notice that the next thing you are going to say is along these lines, give yourself a warning. Preventing these types of strategies by knowing them in advance is a good way to make intimate conversations flow well.