How to start a conversation without having a topic: 6 tips

When it comes to creating smooth conversations, form matters much more than content.

The most extroverted people know that, when it comes to interacting with others, having a planned topic of conversation is often the least important thing. What's more, sometimes the simple act of trying to stick to a script means that the dialogue doesn't flow smoothly and gets bogged down by a lot of awkward silences.

However, for most people, conversing without a clear message in mind is a strange, difficult thing to do. It may be seen from a certain perspective as uninteresting to interact in this way, but at other times it is a very precious resource: initiating conversations easily has many advantages in certain contexts. In this article we will go over a series of tips about how to start a conversation without having a specific topic.

How to start a conversation without a topic

It should be noted that when we start thinking about what a conversation is, we tend not to think exactly of the actual dialogues that occur in our day-to-day lives. Instead, we think more of scripted or novel dialogues, exchanges of opibions that aim, more often than not, to create a clear narrative of what is happening, to show exchanges of ideas that come across as coherent.

But in real life, most conversations are full of imperfections. For example, there are redundant expressions, roundabouts, and many, many changes of subject.. This need not be a bad thing; it is a reflection of the dynamic nature of the human mind, and in fact, when they occur, we don't usually notice these imperfections.

Well, when starting a conversation without having a definite topic prepared, we can exploit this principle on which most conversations are based. It is not so much the content as the form that matters. Let's see how to do it.

1. Do not be afraid to make a fool of yourself

The fact that it is not necessary to have a topic of conversation to start talking to someone does not make the first impression of little importance. So, whatever you do, you should do something that doesn't make you look vulnerable or make you feel prey to the feeling of ridicule. Any action, no matter how outlandish, has a good chance of not seeming so if it's clear that you're doing just the right thing. if it is clear that you are doing exactly what you want to do..

However, you must be clear that starting a conversation without having planned a topic is always, to a greater or lesser extent, a challenge, so it will require you to get out of your comfort zone. If you talk about a topic you know a lot about, you will feel confident, but if you jump right into the conversation and change topics, you will have to flow with the conversation, you will have to flow with the conversationand that requires you to adapt.

2. Talk about a shared reference

To start a conversation with someone you know little or not at all, it is good to point to a topic linked to a fact that both of you may know. If you talk about a movie, you won't know if the other person will pick up on the reference, but if you talk about something that is nearby, they will.

For example, you can make a comment about a visual element that has caught your attention. This comment, as long as it is not rude, is a good start, because although it is clear that it will not be the backbone of the conversation (it is not enough to talk so much), it is part of something that both sender and receiver can notice. part of something that both sender and receiver can notice, assuming they are in the same space.assuming they are in the same space or seeing the same thing.

3. Ask simple questions

So that it is not a monologue, ask simple questions, referring to experiences, for example. This will open up a range of different topics that you can choose from depending on how interesting they are.

4. Talking about everyday life is not a sin

There is nothing wrong with talking about the small details of everyday life. For example, the impression we get from a certain neighborhood, the kind of food we like... In the end, if every conversation was about very abstract topics, life would be very boring. In addition, talking about this makes it very easy to change the subject and create stories that the other person can relate to..

5. Adapt to their non-verbal language

This is a little trick that will help you make the other person feel more comfortable. Start from the reference of the nonverbal language they express, and imitate it.. If you see that it is one that expresses a defensive attitude, imitate it but take it towards a similar one that is less tense, less hostile. Unconsciously, he will also imitate you, until you are both in a much more relaxed posture and style of nonverbal language.

6. Train

None of this will make any sense if you assume that by reading a set of directions you will have learned how to do it. Take these ideas as a reference, and implement them in your day-to-day life. Repetition builds skill.