What to do when your feelings are being played with: 10 recommendations

Whether in a couple or in friendships, there are those who can betray us. How to deal with this?

Sometimes, we begin to trust someone unconditionally, and we allow them to get to know facets of our personalityand allow them to know facets of our personality that are not available to everyone... and we think that the feeling is mutual.

When we realize that the other person did not really show themselves as they really are and did not trust us in the same way, we are overcome with a sense of frustration. We perceive that our expectations were not met and we feel betrayed.

So... What to do when your feelings are being played with? In this article we will talk about this, we will see how to prevent the feeling of discomfort from taking over and we will review useful tips to deal with this situation and prevent it from happening again.

What to do when they play with your feelings (in a couple or friendship).

When we are aware that we have given too much in a relationship and we don't get what we expected from the other person, or worse, we discover that that special person cheated on us in some way. That is when frustration comes upon us.

To answer the question of what to do when they play with your feelings, let's see what are the tools with which we can deal with this situation.

1. Understand that it is a situation that does not depend on you.

You do not have control over the other person, the decisions that the other person has taken are solely their responsibility and that does not have to affect your emotional stability.

As hard as it is, you must realize that just as you could not stop the other person from disregarding you, you are not to blame for the actions of others, you are not to blame for the actions of others.

2. Remembering that you did your best

Once we have understood that we exercise no control over other people's thoughts and actions, it is good to remember that our behavior was worthy of a good friend or a good partner.

Don't feel bad about it, on the contrary, focus on the fact that you have the ability to give others the best of yourself. you have the ability to provide others with a relationship of these characteristicsand that this is something that will accompany you wherever you go.

3. Avoid catastrophic thinking

In this situation that means not thinking that all people are the same, avoid generalizing.. Otherwise we could fall into social withdrawal, and that situation is never good for our emotional health.

The ideal is to take some time and then give yourself the opportunity to meet new people, always trusting and being open to trusting them as well. Just because you have been betrayed does not mean it has to happen again.

4. Strengthen autonomy

The more responsible we are for ourselves, our emotions and feelings, the easier it will be for us to bounce back, the easier it will be to bounce back from a betrayal.. To depend on others to be well is unhealthy and generates emotional dependence.

The best thing is that we can be calm and happy, even when we do not have company. If we learn to take advantage of our solitude and to enjoy it, then we will be able to create better social relationships..

5. Knowing how to create expectations

This does not mean that we do not expect anything from others, it means that we should better evaluate the expectations we place on others, and ask ourselves to what extent these are achievable or not.

Thus we will be less likely to be disappointedand we will be avoiding future frustrations.

6. Do not dedicate all our time to a single person.

Although we like being with someone very much, and we would like to see them all the time, this behavior is not healthy for the relationship. We all need our space to develop in personal areas that may not be of interest to us.that may not be of interest to that special person.

You can have other friendships with whom you feel comfortable in certain spaces. For example, friends at the gym, or friends with whom you practice a sport.

7. Work on different areas of our life

Focusing all of our energy on social relationships will cause us to limit ourselves in other aspects that are equally important to our personal satisfaction. For example, focusing on academics and work.

This will enable us to achieve personal goals that we can enjoy both alone and in company, and we will be less likely to fall into emotional dependency. less likely to fall into emotional dependency..

8. Practice expressiveness

When we feel we have been betrayed, talking about it greatly relieves the discomfort. Telling other friends about your experience It relieves you of an emotional burden you are carrying around, and you can also get valuable advice to help you move forward.

9. Knowing how to close cycles

This is about being able to end stages of your life in a way that is assertive and healthy for all parties involved.

When you are able to realize that some people are no longer good for your life, it is necessary to put an end to that story. No hard feelings, saying goodbye with your head held high and moving on..

10. Go to therapy

Going to therapy can help you put into practice all the tools you need to make progress and get out of that uncomfortable situation you find yourself in. You don't need to have hit rock bottom to go to therapy; in fact, you can do it preventively when you think you need it.

As far as romantic relationships are concernedThe work done by psychologists through psychotherapy helps us to close the cycle of grief caused by frustration and hopelessness. The fact that someone we have been in love with plays with our feelings not only leads to an evident degradation of that affective bond; it also makes us feel like tools used by someone we thought would have a central role in our lives.

Realizing this means saying goodbye to both the idealized version of the person we loved and the future together that we imagined. And the work of overcoming that grief is something that psychotherapists do in a specialized way, as it is part of the most common problems in terms of psychologically damaging personal relationships.

But that kind of grief is also present when a friend has played with our emotions.. Saying goodbye to such a friendship and having to reinterpret the moments spent together is often hard. Also this process of reinterpretation of memory is something that is done in psychological therapy.