How to avoid couple problems and have a happy coexistence
Key ideas and questions to identify problems in living together as a couple and remedy them.
Do you feel that your partner does not understand you? You got married or joined that special person thinking it would be a good decision, but now that things have gotten out of control you think about breaking up?
The lack of time to show love or have small displays of affection may be destroying your relationship.
Ideas to improve the coexistence in couple and to reinforce the bond
No human being in the world has access to the full enjoyment of perfection in their love or affective relationships. Starting from this point, it usually happens that couples generate more and more discrepancies as time goes by; when getting to know each other in a deeper way, the utopian idealization of the other person is lost..
It is there where one begins to see defects and evils that could not be seen in the stage of falling in love. The excessively repetitive and routine, without space for the spontaneous expression of love, leaves open the door to mistrust and disinterest.
In fact, according to several studies, marriage is torture when one does not know how to deal with the problems that arise. deal with the problems that arise from this accumulation of disagreements..
It is not the fact of not having time or the fact of being stressed by work, neither is it the children, nor the debts, not even the sexual factor that makes couple problems more and more frequent.
They are certainly practical as an excuse, that's for sure. Many people have even taken it very seriously, and have even changed their schedules, taken their children to the church priest, and told themselves that when they finish paying the debt everything will be back to normal... only to discover that when they pay back the money owed, the problem continues and even worsens.
What causes the problem, then? Actually, the root of the matter is something deeper and unconscious, and it has to do with knowing oneself. has to do with knowing oneself and knowing what we really want in our lives.
That's why, in terms of the couple's way of life, when people involved in a relationship believe they want something so badly and finally get it, then they feel the same again as before.
Causes of couple problems to prevent
These are elements that generate problems in couple relationships that must be detected as soon as possible in order to intervene quickly without allowing them to consolidate.
Lack of individual clarity
Without a map it is impossible to reach the destinationIt is important to know what you want to achieve both professionally and in your love life.
Answer these questions for yourself:
- What do I want to achieve in life?
- What kind of man or woman do I want to have in my life?
- What characteristics should he or she have?
- What characteristics do I have?
- What am I willing to give and receive?
2. The lack of objectives as a couple
In this section, the key questions are the following:
- What is the goal you have as a couple in the short, medium and long term?
- What motivates you to be together?
3. Lack of preparation
It is very common to see that today's couples come together and live together without having without having prepared themselves to make their habits and lifestyles compatible, which ends in separation in just under 4 years on average.
4. Need to work on oneself
Working on oneself is the most difficult task, but not impossible. Here intervene the values, beliefs and rules that control the way of thinking, feeling and acting of each person. Surely there will be discrepancies that if not communicated clearly could lead to conflicts.
In addition, without peaceful and assertive communication and unconditional acceptance, the relationship will not work.. The key to any relationship is assertive communication.
To recap: what to do?
Define individually what you want for yourself, what you are committed to. Identify which situation is the cause of the problem and look for concrete solutions, focusing on them and without letting psychological rumination distract or paralyze you. Define together the couple's goals. Do not criticize, judge or complain outside of constructive criticism. Accept your partner unconditionally and enjoy yourself.
If you are trying to improve your couple or family relationship, you should know that it is very possible to do it through professional psychological support, an adequate guide that allows you to live in tune and connect with the strength of love.
(Updated at Mar 28 / 2023)