10 tips to better deal with criticism
Are you too affected by criticism? Don't worry, we explain how to manage them.
We all receive criticism from time to time. Sometimes they may not be true, but at other times they can help us to consider what we are doing wrong. It is not the same to be criticized to our face and explaining the reasons for the criticism, than to do it in a public place in front of other people and without explaining what they think we have done wrong. But what to do in those situations when they make us look ridiculous? Do we pretend we haven't heard it? Do we get angry and let the situation get out of hand?
You may not be able to stop someone from criticizing you, but what you can do is change the way you perceive criticism. When you find yourself in this situation, we invite you to try these 10 tips for coping better with criticismI'm sure you'll appreciate it!
1. Evaluate the criticism and the person who is criticizing.
It is important to be objective in order to know how to respond and act. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and criticism from someone who only wants to hurt you in order to discredit you. Therefore, evaluate whether what the person is saying is true..
What to do: Try to remove yourself from the situation and lower your ego, just as if the situation were happening to someone else and not to you. Take a deep breath and don't get carried away by anger.
2. Acknowledge your emotions
The pressure of the moment can get the better of you if you are not able to recognize your emotions or what bothers you about the criticism. When someone hurts you, especially someone close to you, it may be better to let it go to avoid unnecessary confrontation. But it's important to recognize those emotions because they may be telling you that something is not right. If you don't pay attention to your emotions, the problem may become bigger and even eternal. Recognizing the message they are sending you is the beginning of dealing with problems appropriately.
What to do: Before you give in to impulse, pay attention to what your emotions are trying to tell you. Ask yourself: If this emotion could speak right now, what would it say? What would it do? Or... What can I do to get out of this situation in a relaxed way?
3. Set clear boundaries for habitual critics.
You can decide who and what you tolerate in your life. Because in your personal life as well as in your work life you may encounter people who criticize you, but you decide the limits you set for them. you decide what limits you set for that person and how you will feel about what they say about you.. It is good for your well-being that you move away from this type of toxic people, because it can affect you emotionally. At work it can have a negative impact on your performance, your creativity and can be detrimental to a good work environment.
What to do: Decide what you are going to do if the criticizer continues with the criticism. Try to let him/her know, calmly and gently, that you are not willing to tolerate this situation. For example, you can tell him/her that this time you will let it go, but if it happens again, your relationship with that person will end. When you make it clear where the line is drawn, you make yourself respected. Be sure to take action if it happens again.
4. Look for the hidden truth
People close to you, co-workers, or someone in line at the supermarket may respond to our actions, and their behaviors may reflect our own words.. Their criticisms, however harsh or spiteful, may hide some aspect of our own behavior that we have refused to see, but which may be true. For criticism to be constructive, look for that hidden truth, even if it is not always easy to accept.
What to do: Instead of reacting angrily to criticism, have the courage to ask yourself: Is there any truth to this criticism? Then ask yourself again or ask the other person if there is anything you can do to make them not feel offended.
5. Don't let them tell lies about you.
When someone spreads rumors or lies that may affect your work or relationships, you can't ignore it. In these cases it is better to face the problem head on to clear your name..
What to do: To keep your mind clear, take a few deep breaths and grab a piece of paper. On one side, write down the rumor or lie. On the other side, write the lie as you see it. Meet with those people who may have misinterpreted your actions or words and calmly explain how you feel and what really happened. Even if they don't believe you, at least you have been able to defend yourself, so you can move on with your life.
6. Solve problems from the heart
If you speak from the Heart and in an honest way, it is much better than reacting impulsively and spitefully. Acting in this way makes you a great person, and does not allow the situation to get worse.
What to do: In difficult situations reconnect with yourself and your heart. Simply close your eyes and breathe. Think of something beautiful or something to be deeply grateful for. Once the anger has passed, revisit the problem and ask yourself: What can I do to resolve this situation? What is my next step? Listen to the answers that come from your heart.
7. Follow your path
When an insult from someone immature comes your way, instead of playing the role of victim, go on your way. Don't let criticism distract you from your goals.. Think of those comments as mere noise.
What to do: Don't let harmful criticism get to you, and don't let all critics put you off your game. Not every criticism demands a response. Stay focused on keeping important things in your life so you can continue to give a lot to others.
8. Open your heart to critics
Sometimes what gets to you is not your fault. Maybe the person criticizing you has a self-esteem problem or is going through a bad time .. On these occasions, it may be their way of saying they need help. For example, your roommate may be having a hard time with their partner and criticizing you for not picking up the dishes. In this case, you may be in his sights because you are close to him, but what is really happening to him is that he is not able to manage so much emotional pain. Reach out to him instead of fighting with him.
What to do: When you detect that this may be the problem, ask him what's wrong. You can also tell him that you know he is having a hard time and that this is affecting your relationship.
9. Be polite but firm in public
Humiliation, whether from a boss or co-worker at a meeting, or from a family member, can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Don't criticize critics or pick fights with them.. This will only hurt you. Be polite, be calm and control your impulses.
What to do: If someone has legitimate reasons but has verbalized them in the wrong way, smile and say something to break the tension and also add, "If there is something that has upset you, I would like to discuss it with you later."
10. Don't take it personally
If you have heeded the above advice and have adjusted your behavior but are still being criticized, it's time to move on. Unfortunately, some people criticize to project their own problems onto others, some people criticize in order to project their own problems onto others.. So don't take it personally.
What to do: Instead of wasting your energy and attention on the critical comments, get rid of them, accept them, let them go, and move on with your life.
(Updated at Mar 28 / 2023)