How to give emotional support, in 6 steps

Different guidelines to help someone who is going through a bad time.

When going through particularly smelly moments in our lives, we often tend to forget that these negative emotions and feelings are experienced in a very different way if we have the support of others. Sadness, helplessness or disappointment do not have to be suffered in isolation; if we live in society, it is to receive help and to help others.

In fact, it is normal that when we see that someone is in a bad state of mind, we feel the impulse to help them. But emotional support is not necessarily easy, and it is relatively easy to make mistakes.and it is relatively easy to make mistakes.

Tips for knowing how to give emotional support

In the following lines we will look at several tips on how to provide emotional support in relatively simple steps. Applying them well requires some practice, but with time and effort, you will most likely see significant improvements in the way you can help the other person cope better with their bad emotional situation..

1. Choose the right context

Choosing the right time and place is a necessary and insufficient condition for knowing how to give emotional support.

The main thing is to be in a moment that is not transitional, i.e. that is not going to end soon (e.g., passing through an elevator), that is not strongly linked to an important experience unrelated to what is producing discomfort (e.g., the end of a presentation at a congress) and that it allows for a certain amount of privacy.

The physical characteristics of the place are also something to take into account. It is much better if it is a place with few distractions and where communication is easy: free of noise, sudden changes, etc.

2. Let the other person give the information he/she wants.

It is important not to pressure the other person to give us all the information we need to know exactly how he/she feels. The simple fact of feeling that pressure is one more cause of stress that accentuates the discomfort. that accentuates the discomfort.

In case you notice that he/she closes his/her mind, it is enough to give him/her the opportunity to open up more by expressing directly that he/she can count on you for anything, and that he/she notices that he/she is not going to be judged.

For the latter, it is necessary to keep a serious attitude that expresses empathy, and not to joke too much about the possible cause of the other person's emotional pain.. It is a mistake to imply that what makes you feel bad is actually nonsense, because from that perspective it is impossible to connect with the other person.

3. Be an active listener

When the person speaks it is important that you give signs that you are making efforts to understand what they are saying and the implications of what they are saying. Being honest about what makes us feel bad is already intimidating to many people, and if they don't feel it's doing much good, the incentive to accept our support fades.

To that end, practice active listening and make this moment truly a symmetrical personal interaction where one person is expressing themselves and the other is supporting them and trying to understand how the other is feeling. Maintain eye contact, make comments without interrupting abruptly, recapitulate the information given, and then make sure that the other person is listening to you.recapitulate the information given by the other, etc.

4. Validate their emotions

Clearly show that you know that what she feels makes sense, even though you obviously don't feel the same way. This is important, because otherwise it is assumed that there is a disconnect between you because you have not gone through exactly the same thing. Don't ridicule their ideas or feelings, on the contrary, show that you know they have a point.

5. Talk about your perspective

This is something that is often overlooked, but it is very useful. It is true that when it comes to providing emotional support what is important is what the person who is experiencing the emotional discomfort feels.But it is also true that if you talk about what you believe, you will be indicating that you are involved in your case and trying to draw parallels between what is happening to them and what has happened to you. In addition, this perspective can help him to see his experiences from another point of view.

So, once you have heard the main thing about her case, you can give her this brief feedback, but don't let the conversation move on to a completely different topic: it should be something that is included in the act of being supportive of what is happening to her.

6. Point out the possibility of a hug

It is possible to give rise to if the other person wants you to, you can give each other a hug.. But you should not ask for it directly or make a clear gesture to show that you are going to hug, because if you do not want to, this can leave a bad taste in your mouth by feeling guilty if you refuse.

Usually the best thing to do is something more subtle: a few taps on the shoulder or on the back that give an excuse to get closer and that, if the other wants, can turn into a hug. Let the other person take that step.