How to help your child to be responsible? 10 Tips
Here are some methods and strategies to educate the little ones at home.
Parents often complain that their children have a hard time being responsible, or that they don't understand why they should do homework and schoolwork.
Children have a hard time thinking long term, so it is not an easy task to teach them why they should be responsible, but it can be done.
Here we are going to talk about how to help your child to be responsible, using simple methods.from simple methods.
How to help your child to be responsible?
Responsibility is a difficult concept to assimilate at early ages.especially taking into account that children find it very difficult to think in the long term.
However, it is possible to explain to them and make them understand the importance of doing homework and schoolwork on their own, without anyone having to go after them reminding them over and over again to stop playing or slacking off and do it.
How to help your child to be responsible is not as easy as pie in the sky, since it requires a lot of patience and control of your child's It takes a lot of patience and nerve control, as well as knowing how to use a serious but appropriate tone, but it can be done.but it can be done. Here are some tips on how to achieve this goal.
1. Assign small tasks
The best way to start is by going simple and easy. A good way to teach children the concept of responsibility is to assign them small, age-appropriate and safe tasks.
There are several chores that can be done at home in which the little ones can help usHowever, it is very important to take into account their age, especially because not all household chores are equally safe.
For example, for younger children, from 2 to 6 years old, we can assign them to put away their toys, put the dirty clothes in the wash, make the bed, clear the table...
For children from 6 to 9 we can assign them to load the dishwasher, put the washing machine on, put the groceries away, take the dog out (if it is a small breed), change the toilet roll...
For the older ones from 10 to adolescence, they can be assigned more complex and time-consuming taskssuch as cleaning the bathrooms, the kitchen, the dining room and their bedroom, changing light bulbs, painting walls, grocery shopping and watching their younger siblings.
2. Doing fun chores
All children like to have fun and, for this reason, many of them, when they are told that they have to do homework, besides seeing it as an imposed obligation, see it as something boring, and prefer not to do it.
But the fun nature of children can be exploited by us adults.. We can combat this belief that all household chores are boring by choosing those that are more dynamic as a starting point.
Finding ways to motivate them is something that, at first, may seem very complicated, but sometimes it is enough to play music in the background and dance while cleaning the windows, mopping the floor and folding the laundry.
3. Look for their strengths
We all have some chores that we don't like to do, either because we are lazy or because we are not good at them. As adults, we try to be responsible and even though we don't like it, we stick it out and end up doing our responsibilities.Some put it off until later, others start now and get it out of the way as soon as possible.
Obviously, the same thing happens to children. There are many things they don't like to do because they are lazy or not good at them. But just as they have weaknesses, they also have strengths, and that's where you can address the issue of responsibility.
If you assign children activities that they are good at, even if they are mandatory chores, they will be more motivated to do them, they will be more motivated to do them..
For example, if your child likes to put things in order, or classify different objects (magazines, books, plates...) a very good task for him/her would be to set the table, to help by tidying the shelves or to place the dishes once they are clean.
The idea is to find the activity that best suits him/her, so that he/she can start helping us with the housework. And, as time goes by, when it's homework day, the activity will be so internalized that he or she will automatically get down to it.
4. Be an example
If you want your child to be responsible, be an example and be one yourself. Parents are the adults of reference for children and, to a lesser extent, for adolescents. Parents are the role models and, for this reason, children learn through vicarious learning..
Don't expect your children to be responsible with their homework and tidying up their rooms if you are the kind of person who leaves the tax return to the last minute and your house is a mess.
Also, don't expect your children to magically clean the dishes if you haven't explained how it should be done.
It may seem a very simple thing for adults, but this task and many others are intimidating for children, who are afraid that they are going to do it wrong and do not dare to do it. The best thing to do is to teach them how to do it so that they can do it on their own..
Basically, responsibility is taught by being responsible. Do the tasks you set out to do at once and don't leave them for later.
It is very important that your child knows what your obligations are, so that he or she can see that you are doing them when you do them, as well as explaining to him or her the importance of doing them.It is very important that your child knows what your chores are, so he can see that you are doing them when you do them, as well as explain the importance of doing them. For example, if your task is to go shopping, explain why you go, you go so that there is food at home, so you can all eat.
5. Rules and limits
Establish rules and limits, always appropriate to the age of your child, is highly recommended for the child to grow up learning to be responsible by not breaking them.
Establishing rules and consequences is very useful, as it helps children know, from a very young age, how to behave and what to expect if they act irresponsibly. helps children know, from a very young age, how to behave and what awaits them if they act irresponsibly..
It should be noted that setting these rules and limits does not mean that children and adolescents will magically comply with them.
However, it does help to shape their temperament, especially taking into account that the transgression of these rules will imply negative consequences, which will make them appreciate the importance of having complied with them.
6. More autonomy, more responsibility
As far as is fair and appropriate for their age, it is advisable to give the child or adolescent a certain amount of space.. Encouraging their autonomy is a very good strategy to awaken in them a certain responsibility.
The more autonomy, the more responsibility, translated into having to apply problem-solving strategies on their own, learning to organize their lives and respecting the right time for everything, such as doing their homework first and then playing that much desired video game.
In addition, the advantage of giving them autonomy is that we don't have to be so dependent on them, encouraging their own decision-making criteria.. On the contrary, if we are always watching what they do and what they don't do, they will never grow up, let alone be responsible, which will be a real problem when they reach adulthood.
7. Conflict resolution
Giving greater autonomy implies that children learn to be capable of resolving their own conflicts, both with themselves and with others.
The seriousness of the situation should always be taken into account and how capable the child should be of resolving it. It may be a simple scuffle with a sibling over a toy, or it may be worse, such as a physical fight at school with a classmate. In this case it is clear that it should be dealt with by the parents and teachers of those involved.
8 Decision-making
Empowering your child's decision-making ability enhances his or her responsibility. This is especially helpful if, when he has homework to do, he is given two options to choose from. The freedom to make his own decisions should be commensurate with his age..
Thus, if the child makes a bad decision, but shows that he has not done it with bad intentions, but simply because he has made a mistake, he should not be punished. The child should be made to understand that it is through mistakes and example that people learn.
9. Acknowledge him when he is responsible
As we were saying, responsibility is too abstract an idea for children, so that even when they are responsible, they are sometimes not aware that they are so.. That is why, especially for children, it is good for adults to know how to recognize when they are being responsible.
If the child is told that he has been responsible and that he has done well, he can see that it does not seem so complicated to do the tasks and obligations. He may even see that he is a responsible person without even thinking about it, doing his homework and tidying his room automatically.
Thank him for what he is doing, and reinforce this behavior by means of positive phrases and congratulations and, very occasionally, some material prize, such as a candy, his favorite food or a video game, always according to what he has done.
But, at the same time, it is very important to avoid falling into the dynamics of bribery and "I promise you that".. Do not promise him a reward if he does a task he is supposed to do on his own, nor threaten him if he does not do it.
The reward, which is a reinforcer, should be used after he has done the obligation, and without previously being told that he would receive it if he did the task in question.
Bribes are very problematic since the child will always perceive them as a kind of contract: "I do this and you give me my remuneration". The moment we stop giving him the "remuneration", the child will go on "strike".
10. Educate in values
Responsibility is a value that goes together with commitment, duty and obligation..
It is recommended to value the child so that he learns to value his behavior, how responsible he is and to foster in him a greater feeling of self-confidence, security and a better coexistence both with his parents and with his siblings if he has them.
Bibliographical references:
- Baratu, I. (n.d.). Guide to co-responsibility. Educating by sharing family tasks.
- Durán, A., Tébar, M.D., Ochando, B., Martí, M.A., Bueno, F.J., Pin, G., Cubel, M.M., and Genís, M.R. (2004). Didactic manual for the parents' school.
(Updated at Apr 12 / 2024)