How to mediate a conflict between friends: 10 helpful tips

Let's look at several tips for mediating between friends who have quarreled.

Friendship relationships are not always on good terms; it is common that at times there are moments of tension between friends. Sometimes it may happen that some of our friends fight and we have to mediate so that the situation does not transcend too much.

In this article we are going to see how to mediate a conflict between friendsIn this article we will see how to mediate a conflict between friends, preventing the bond of friendship from deteriorating to the point that it affects the other members of the group. We will learn to recognize our emotions and those of others, to be able to manage them properly and to bring sanity.

How to help resolve conflicts between friends?

In the following lines you will find some effective and recommendable ways to know how to mediate a conflict between close friends.

1. Identify the problem

The main thing we must do to resolve conflicts between our friends is to be clear about the real reason for their disagreement.Once we know this, we can start looking for the best ways to help resolve the conflict between the parties involved.

We must be careful with information from third parties. The best thing to do is to talk to your friends and get to understand each other's points of view, so that your perspective is as accurate as possible.so that your perspective is as objective and trustworthy as possible. When you have talked to your friends about the situation, you can draw your own conclusions about the matter.

2. Make them understand that there are ways to resolve conflicts.

You have to provide your friends with the necessary tools so that they can deal with their situation in a more appropriate way.

Some people have in mind that the only way to deal with differences is through aggression and violence; they are not very tolerant to frustration. Talking to each of them individually, you will have to explain which are the other ways to solve an existing conflict.. For example, assertive communication, respect for the opinions of others, acceptance between people in spite of the differences they may have, etc.

3. Invite them to tell you how they feel about it.

Ask your friends how they feel about the situation. This will give them a chance to reflect on the behavior they are engaging in, and they will be more likely to realize how they are feeling about the situation. they will be more likely to realize their mistakes and want to correct them.. They will probably ask you for advice on how to resolve the situation with the other people involved.

4. Avoid taking sides

It is important that you remain impartial at all times during your attempt to reconcile the parties involved in the conflict. Otherwise, instead of calming things down between your friends, you could further escalate the personal quarrel. The best thing to do is to show them that you can accept each other's points of view without taking sides.

The example you can give them regarding how you deal with the situation, and how you are able to remain impartial between them, proves to be a key contribution to getting them through the situation.n important contribution to getting them to overcome their differences and become good friends again.. Often people learn more by example than by words.

5. Avoid forcing reconciliation

Something that is totally contrary to the intention we have to make our friends reconcile in a good way is to try to do this process in a hurried and forced way. The advisable thing is to understand that your friends may need some time to reflect on what may have happened. about what may have happened.

Do not try to bring them together without their consent to talk, this can end up in an uncomfortable situation for everyone, and then it will be even more complicated for your friends to want to see each other again. Remember that nothing forced brings good results.

6. Ask them how they would resolve the conflict.

Through this question you are giving your friends the chance to accept that they want to work things out with the other people, and it will start with the other person, and a planning process will begin in their mind to resolve the conflict that may exist between them.

It is important that you give them the right ideas so that they act in the best possible way.

7. Make them see the good in other people

It is common that during fights people only focus on the negative aspects of the other person, and even magnify them.and even magnify them.

Your role as a conflict mediator friend will be to recognize and diminish the biases that exist between the parties involved, so that they can remember the positive things about each other.

8. Suggest that they meet to clarify things

Forcing a situation is not the same as making a suggestion; we must keep this in mind to avoid misunderstandings. What we should look for is that our friends are willing to meet personally to talk about their conflict and why it has arisen. In this way, each person will have room for maneuver to establish their preferences and make their decisions. Without freedom, reconciliation is not possible, only the appearance of normality can be achieved.

9. Understand each other's motives

As much as you want your friends to reconcile, you must also keep in mind that they may have their own personal reasons for having decided to walk away from some people. they may have their own personal reasons for having decided to distance themselves from certain people.. We cannot pretend that just because we are still friends with someone, our other friends have to be friends too, nor should we ridicule their decisions.

10. Respect final decisions

In the event that we have unsuccessfully tried everything in our power to get our friends to overcome their differences and resume their friendship, we should accept their personal choices and avoid taking an insistent stance on changing their minds.. Each person is the owner of his or her decisions, and it should not be forgotten that no one is obliged to continue investing efforts in a relationship, whether it is a friendship, love or business relationship. Although technically any conflict can come to an end, that does not mean that striving to reach the ultimate reconciliation is the best way to spend time.

Bibliographical references:

• Charlton, R.; Dewdney, M. (2004). The Mediator's Handbook. Skills and Strategies for Practitioners. Toronto: Thomson Reuters.
• Haynes, J.M. (2012). Fundamentos de la mediación familiar: Manual Práctico para mediadores Mexico City: Gaia Ediciones.
• Noaks, J. & Noaks, L. (2009). School-based peer mediation as a strategy for social inclusion. Pastoral Care in Education. 27(1): pp. 53 - 61.
• Parselle, C. (2005) The Complete Mediator. New York: Weisberg Publications.