How to overcome a couples crisis: 6 useful tips
Different practical ideas on how to deal with a couple crisis and strengthen the relationship.
It is very common for couples to go through difficult times, and even moments of real marital or dating crisis. For this reason, this topic is a constant in psychology consultations, as we have in the services of couple therapy one of our most popular forms of psychological assistance.
However...how to overcome a couple crisisHow can you overcome a couple crisis, either before or during the beginning of the couple therapy sessions? In this article we will talk about it.
Keys to understand so that the marriage or courtship goes well.
First of all, it is important to be clear about a series of ideas to understand the way in which the couple's problems should be approached. They are as follows.
1. Communication is the key
No relationship will work well if there is not a constant flow of communication, regardless of whether it is a married couple living in the same home, or an engaged couple who have not yet moved into a shared apartment. As we will see, the lack of dialogue causes problems to arise very quickly.
2. Being in a couple is more than living together
The simple fact of tolerating someone and coordinating well in a cohabitation setting does not indicate that the relationship is going well.. In fact, if what keeps two people together is no more than the sum of these elements, the relationship is probably going through a bad moment, or at least a stage of affective stagnation. Loving each other implies more than living together.
3. Problems, if they are not addressed, accumulate
Many people are tempted, after an argument, to pretend that nothing has happened and settle for the fact that neither they nor the other person feels angry with the other. This is a mistake that will cause problems as soon as there is a new argument. that there is a new discussion, due to the resentment or frustration that has been accumulating.
How to overcome a couple crisis?
Of course, the ideal is to prevent couple crises from appearing.We should do what is necessary so that we do not reach a point where the love relationship is significantly damaged.
However, once this has happened, all is not lost: in many cases, it is possible to make a move to get out of this situation and make the marriage or courtship stronger again.
How to overcome these bad moments in a couple's relationship? Here you will find several tips that, although they are simple to explain, require perseverance, commitment to the idea of improving, require perseverance, commitment to the idea of improvement, and effort.and effort.
1. Avoid wanting to win in every discussion
Many times we fall into the trap of confusing discussions with contests in which we have to be ahead of the other at any cost. This obviously only fuels the conflict.
But, paradoxically, a discussion is also an opportunity for reconciliationIf you show that you are capable of not letting yourself be carried away by the impulses that lead you to get angry, and show understanding and empathy, this is a powerful sign of love, and will contribute to the other person having reason to build bridges, seeing that there is someone listening on the other side.
2. Deal with past problems in an honest way.
It is difficult to get out of a couple's crisis if at least one of the two parties believes that he or she has been the victim of a grievance. This can happen, for example, if he/she feels that he/she has made more sacrifices than the other person in order to be able to live together. Talking about this in a transparent way is necessary to achieve a balance. Which brings us to the next point.
3. Symmetry must be achieved
Relationships based on dependence or codependence are doomed to suffer convulsive periods.It is not sustainable to make a large part of our lives depend on the arbitrary or unilateral decisions of the other person. It is necessary to reach a point where we both give what we receive.
4. It is necessary to recognize mistakes
This is basic. Without the ability to look back and recognize that we have made mistakes, it is very difficult to love, or even to live together. It is not acceptable to make excuses or assume that the blame is shared: we must clearly communicate that we believe we have acted wrongly or made a mistake, and offer a way to repair the damage caused.
5. Don't just let time pass
Not only do you have to address the problems and talk about them in order to reach a consensual solution. You also have to do it soon, without leaving everything "for the next day".
The simple passing of time does not solve the couple's crisis; it only makes the situation more frustratingby investing more weeks, months and years in a courtship or relationship in which no one learns from their mistakes. Talking about sensitive issues that expose our mistakes is uncomfortable, but necessary.
6. In case of major problems, go to couple's therapy.
Couples therapy is nowadays a very popular service for all kinds of people, even for those who are not even considering separation or divorce. In these sessions, psychologists offer our training, our therapeutic tools and our advice and mediation power to create situations in which patients can communicate, discover invisible mistakes until then, and do something to remedy the couple crisis.
If you are interested in having professional support to overcome the love crisis in marriage or dating relationship, at Consulta Despertares we offer couples therapy in all our centers.. You can find us in Madrid, Getafe, Leganés and Móstoles. To see our contact information, click here.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)