The (subtle) difference between self-esteem and narcissism.

Having an inflated ego means that sometimes we only relate to others in exchange for approval.

Sometimes you have to be courageous in life: at work, on a date, in an interview, in a conversation whose subject matter you have not mastered... Some would even say that it is inherent to the Mediterranean rogue character.

It is clear that for this we must have a certain self-esteem, that is, appreciation for oneself. But... where is the between having good self-esteem and sinning of narcissism?Is it really the problem of our current society?

The fine line between self-esteem and narcissism.

Summarizing a lot, narcissism is self-esteem raised to the maximum power; the excessive admiration you feel for your physical appearance, qualities or gifts.

Egocentrism, related to the above (although not exactly the same), is the narcissist's paranoia; such is the admiration you feel for yourself that you believe yourself to be the center of all attention and concern of others.

These two psychological phenomena seem to describe what happens to many people, but for those who are not familiar with the subject, it is good to point out the differences between narcissism and narcissism. the differences between narcissism and self-esteem.

The difference between narcissism and self-esteem is that the former involves the denial of the value of others, who are reduced to mere providers of attention and fame. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is what makes us feel good about ourselves as integrated beings in a society full of perfectly valid human beings.

But... doesn't the passage of time transform our self-esteem into narcissism through the use of new technologies?

The evolution of narcissism

Adolescence is a time of revolution, among other things, hormonal, which leads us to have ups and downs of self-esteem. Hopefully, after this time, we will have managed to come out of it unscathed and with a regular level of self-esteem.

This set of perceptions, thoughts and evaluations of ourselves will undoubtedly have an impact on how we see the world around us.

According to some theories, we build up our self-esteem on the basis of the social acceptance of our peers.. But there comes a time when someone's ego, perhaps our own, becomes overinflated and stands out; they love themselves too much and are superior to everything else.

Nowadays there are several articles that blame the technologies, or rather the bad use that we make of them, on the as direct manufacturers of narcissists, but weren't there narcissists before the Internet?

The cult of the ego

The cult of ourselves, of the body or of the mind, depending on the time, has existed since time immemorial.

Let's start from the word narcissist itself, which comes from the myth of Narcissus. comes from the myth of Narcissuswhich exists in both Greek and Roman mythology. It tells of a handsome young man who stole the heart of every woman and who, by angering the wrong person, ended up drowning in the water because he was in love with his own reflection.

The problem has existed, therefore, since ancient times; what has changed are the elements of the game. We are now into "selfies", getting lots of "likes", "likes", "likes", "likes" and "likes".Even those of us who write on this website, don't we enjoy ourselves proportionally to the number of times our article is shared?

Probably all of us, in one way or another, we are sometimes guilty of having a fattened ego.. However, it is easier to see the speck in someone else's eye.

In fact, the only thing we can the only thing we can blame the Internet for is that it has made it easier and more universal.and more universal. I can now boast of having many, many friends without having to work or care for those relationships, if only a "like" from time to time. I can show others, my hundreds of "friends", how happy I am with my life, my partner, my job, how good looking I am naturally (with mobile apps to correct, enhance, diminish and cover up, of course). In short, it's easy because I choose what to show.

The reality is that we live in a frenetic era of capitalism and liberal economy, where we confuse happiness with consumerism, and this is consuming us. Even so, the possibility of crossing the line from self-esteem to self-centeredness and narcissism existed before any social network. If not, ask Donald Trump; he is a good example of what it means to love oneself too much.

The neural circuits of egocentrism

On an internal level, these little moments of pseudo-happiness that we get from loving ourselves too much and making it known on the networks, activate the brain's reward center just like sex, eating, generosity....

And, at the end of the day, what gives meaning to our existence, what moves and motivates us from the most Biological and basic point of view is reward and pleasure. How we achieve this will continue to vary: now it is fashionable to pose in photos and put a filter on my pasta dish, but perhaps with luck, tomorrow, we will try altruism and generosity as a brain reward mechanism.

We must take care of the "child" inside us, but that does not mean stuffing him/her with sweets.