Couple crisis: 7 signs that something is not right
A review of those symptoms that indicate that something is wrong in the relationship.
Couple crises are one of the main headaches that appear in many people's love lives.. Part of what makes them so damaging is that, although sometimes their cause is clear, it is also frequent that they just appear, in the total absence of a concrete reason.
Sometimes, it seems that it is the simple passage of time that causes the quality of relationships to deteriorate, but the truth is that time by itself neither strengthens nor weakens anything. To understand what couple crises are and how we can deal with them, it is necessary to know well what are the day-to-day relational dynamics that feed them. Detecting the signs of this type of love crisis is crucial to react as soon as possible.
The signs of couple crisis
Below we will see several signs of couple crisis that warn about the poor health of the affective relationship.
These situations do not always end in a breakup, but they should not be overlooked.But it is advisable not to let them pass and open new ways of communication and even go to couple's therapy if necessary.
1. You feel guilty in front of your partner's illusion.
This is one of the most subtle symptoms of a couple's crisis, since it is not something that arises in relationships, but rather in the mind of one of the people in the relationship. Fundamentally, it is an indicator that we perceive something that makes us feel bad about ourselves: that if we are for that person it is simply because of inertia and fear of ending the relationship.
Paradoxically, is one of the most silent signs of a couple's crisis, but at the same time, its effects are very profound.. Making the situation better is very complicated, because at this point the problem is not so much that one person's way of expressing love does not fit well with the other's, nor does it have to do with incompatibility of habits; here, the problem is that the decision has already been made that the relationship is a waste of time.
2. You bet everything on the future
There are times when it becomes evident that there is some friction in the relationship: the simple fact of living together makes it very easy to end up arguing, and some of these quarrels can end up being chronic..
Faced with this scenario, many people going through a couple crisis adopt a totally passive attitude, partly because they see the problem as very complicated to deal with. Thus, something very common is to make see that the simple passage of time will fix it. The underlying idea of this strategy sounds something like this: "let's keep investing time, money and effort in the relationship, and these kinds of sacrifices will, by themselves, make it work out".
Of course, this is a totally wrong strategy that only leads to frustrations and the creation of distorted expectations. It is important to curb this way of thinking.
3. Trust is lost
If you go back to the early stages of your romantic relationships, you will probably realize that both you and your partner were able to confide unconfessable secrets to each other. You explained to each other how you felt at any given moment, your past sorrows and your future desires. You were a perfect fit, emotionally you supported each other in a special and unique way.
If the relationship deteriorates and there is a couple crisis, this ability to communicate "heart to heart" may be affected.. A phase begins in which there are more and more misgivings about opening up to each other. This may be caused by petty quarrels. The wounds of mistrust are difficult to heal, although not impossible... but they require time and effort on the part of both partners.
4. You stop doing activities together
Relationships are, fundamentally, that set of shared moments in which affection and intimacy are expressed. If the quantity of these moments decreases, the quality of the relationship also decreases.
And the simple fact of having spent many things together in the past does not make the love relationship persist. It is necessary to keep updating this accumulation of shared sensations and emotions through the new things that are being experienced as a couple.
5. Mistrust and jealousy appear
Where there is jealousy, there are vulnerable points.. Love relationships are based, among other things, on trust, and that is why, as much as they have become normalized over the years, jealousy is superfluous. After all, a courtship or marriage that is sustained only on the basis of constant vigilance and paranoia, is in any case an imitation of a love bond, but not a story worthy of being lived with positivity and constructive spirit.
6. Sexual encounters are less and less frequent
It is not a symptom that necessarily must appear when we speak of a couple crisis? but it is more common for couples therapy consultations to be attended by people who have lost their passion and magic..
Why does this happen? During the falling in love phase, hormones are out of control and sex is frequent and of high quality. In more advanced stages of the relationship, routine, stress or monotony can affect the quality and quantity of sex that we practice... leading the situation to a vicious circle in which the intimacy of the couple is lost, so you can start thinking about a spiral of distance and poor bonding.
7. Empathy is lost
This is one of the last stages: when both partners (or at least one of them) are not able to put themselves in the other's shoes, it is possible that the commitment and the illusion are cracked definitively..
If affective relationships are based on anything, it is on understanding each other's weaknesses and needs. When this ceases to exist, it is very difficult for a couple to last, since the relationship of trust and emotional support ceases to exist. Restoring harmony and healthy attachment between both partners is the challenge faced by many couples who, despite problems, wish to continue sharing their lives. At other times, distance and separation will be the opportunity to start over again.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)