What are the glasses through which you see reality?

The way we think, the mindset, has a big effect on the results we get.

Have you ever wondered Why do people react differently to the same situation?Why some of us face everyday problems with a more positive attitude, while others feel as if the world has fallen on their heads?

Let's imagine two co-workers who have a last-minute project to do in a one-week period. One of them, thinks incessantly: Wow, I only have 7 days to do it! I won't be able to finish it, with all the things I have to do!" The second, on the other hand, says: "Good thing I have a whole week ahead of me; so I'm going to plan the week to organize myself better."

How will each of them react, and will they experience the same emotion? Certainly not. The emotional response of the former to this rumination of thought will be an anxious response to the assumed idea that "he only has 7 days" and the fact that "everything is coming up". On the other hand, the second will experience an emotion of calm, given the perception that he has "a whole week" and "has time to organize himself".

How is it possible that each person reacts differently to the same situation? The answer is in the glasses from which each one sees his reality..

It all depends on the perspective: the glasses through which we see reality

Although it can seem to us difficult to believe, the form in as we feel before certain situations does not depend on the nature of the event that occurs. When any event happens to us, the emotion we experience depends on the interpretation that each one of us makes of the situation. Depending on the interpretation we give it, this will trigger us to feel in a certain way and, therefore, our behavior will tend towards one direction or another.

Under this premise, then, we come to the conclusion that our brain does not produce a direct situation-emotion reaction, but that something very powerful intervenes in the middle that makes us feel one way or another: thought.

Situation - Thought - Emotion - Behavior

If the situation of both is the same, why do they have different emotions? The fact is quite clear: our thoughts determine our emotions. What is important is not "what happens to us", but what we think at any given moment. The thought is prior to the emotion and that thought is what makes us feel better or worse.

How can we control our emotions? What can we do to change the way we feel? The answer lies in learning to change the way we interpret events, that is, to modify the internal discourse we have with ourselves.

Ask yourself the following questions: "what I am thinking, is it really like that?", "would everyone understand it the same way?", "what would the person I most admire think of that same situation?", "and my best friend?"

What really marks a vital change in our life is when we move from reaction to action., when we really understand that what we feel depends, to a great extent, on what we think at each moment, and not on what happens to us. It is then when we assume that, thanks to our thinking, we can control and provoke our emotions. We can be happy or unhappy, putting our brain in our favor or, on the contrary, against us.

But now let's go a little beyond how we feel and move on to the next level: our behavior. Which one is going to perform better when it comes to working on the project? It is highly probable that the second one.

The response of the first is anxiety and, as we know, anxiety blocks us, and leads us to enter a vicious cycle of negative thoughts that sometimes even prevents us from taking action. The emotion of calmness experienced by the latter, perceiving that he has a whole week to work with, is more adaptive, which will help him to deal more effectively with the project..

Therefore, our thoughts will not only determine the way we feel, but also the way we behave before the project. but also the way we behave in the situations of our lives..

How to modify our perspective

An effective method for questioning our own thoughts is Socratic dialogue. Let's continue with the above example of the first guy: wow, I only have a week to do it! I'm not going to be able to finish it, with the number of things I have to do!"

• Scientific evidence (what evidence is there that I won't be able to do it in a week?).
• The probability that it is true (what is the probability that it is true?).
• Its usefulness (what good does it do me to think about it? what emotions does it generate in me?).
• Severity (what's the worst that could happen if I really don't have the time?)

Therefore, we must learn to identify our negative emotions, we have to learn to identify our negative emotions when they actually appear.So that when we notice that alarm signal, we can stop for a moment and look for the thought that has led us to feel that way and, then, look for a more adaptive alternative way of thinking. This is not an easy task, as we are deeply rooted in our belief system and it takes practice and effort to modify it.

The lesson we must learn then is... let us not suffer needlessly! We have the ability to convert our unpleasant emotions (such as anger or sadness)...into more pleasant emotions (joy) and, as a consequence, have a more adaptive behavior. The key is to change the glasses through which we see reality.