6 keys to combat self-sabotage and achieve goals

Many of the difficulties we encounter in life are obstacles that we set for ourselves.

All people throughout their lives have tried at one time or another to make a change in their lives. This change can be a personal change, such as quitting smoking, or a professional change, such as working for a promotion.

However, it is a fact that changes provoke fear and that this fear of leaving our comfort zone can cause us to truncate our own attempts at success. Avoiding these attempts is not easy, but throughout this article we will show you several keys to combat self-sabotage. several keys to combat self-sabotage.

Why does self-sabotage appear?

There are a large number of reasons why people end up interfering, more or less unconsciously, on their way to success or to the achievement of any goal or objective.

Usually, the reasons why this tends to happen are related to the self-concept are related to self-concept. That is to say, with the opinion that the person has about himself. This opinion is originated and molded throughout life, so modifying it is complicated, but not impossible.

This self-concept is configured from the first years of life of the person. For what it is essential that during the infancy the child receives messages of support and security, since the opinion that this one is formed on his capacity during this moment will accompany him practically during the rest of his life.

The importance of self-concept

It is common for people who, during their childhood and adolescence, developed a strong self-perception of failure or mediocrity. developed a strong self-perception of failure or mediocrity, find it more difficult to find it more difficult to achieve their goals or dreams. However, this self-perception can be transformed and reversed if the person is willing to do so.

Taking into account all of the above, the main requirement to put an end to self-sabotage is for the person to be aware of what beliefs he/she has about him/herself, and what ideas about his/her identity he/she has repeated throughout his/her life. In this way he can begin to modify them so that they do not interfere in his path to success.

There are hundreds of ways to sabotage oneself, from small, virtually unconscious behaviors to significant behaviors that a person knows in advance they are frustrating themselves. know in advance that they are thwarting their attempts to achieve something.. Some of the most recognizable manifestations that a person is self-sabotaging are:

• Using lack of time as an excuse for not doing what he/she would like to do but is afraid of. for not doing what he/she would like to do but is afraid of.
• Continually putting less relevant tasks or tasks with less feared consequences before them.
• Substituting with immediate reward behaviors in order not to face the problem.

How to combat self-sabotage?

As mentioned above, the first step to combat self-sabotage is to that the person recognizes that a series of harmful beliefs exist within him or her and that these are sabotaging and that these are sabotaging their attempts to make progress.

Likewise, it is necessary to become aware that, although there are hundreds of circumstances that can condition our successes or failures, the individual is responsible for his or her own successes and failures, the individual is responsible for his or her own decisions and especially for those decisions that end up becoming self-sabotage.

Once these beliefs are recognized and with the proper motivation to change them, the person can begin to carry out a series of good habits, the person can begin to carry out a series of good habits that will prevent him/her from falling back into self-sabotage. that will prevent him/her from relapsing into self-sabotage. Some of these habits consist of:

1. To be convinced that it is possible

As discussed throughout the article, beliefs about ourselves determine our perception of everything we do. Thus, if we believe beforehand that we are not going to achieve something or we believe that we are not going to be up to it, this will surely end up happening.

Therefore, the first step to avoid self-sabotage is to start changing our beliefs and, little by little, start believing that we can achieve it, begin to believe that we can achieve it..

2. Work on motivation

Most of the time people do not get to see their projects or aspirations come true because they do not have the necessary techniques or skills to work and develop their motivation. So many great intentions or brilliant ideas fail to see the light of day only because motivation and commitment have declined along the way.

Some tips for staying motivated, remembering why we started a project and committing to it are:

• Start a project journal describing what you want to achieve; write down your aspirations, goals and how you feel as you go along. while we are carrying it out.
• Explain our project to a few people we trust.. If our aspirations are externalized, they become more tangible and, in addition, our commitment to them will increase.
• Draw up an action plan. On many occasions we fail in our attempts to achieve any goal by simply not knowing exactly what steps to follow. To avoid this and avoid the fear of the unknown, the best thing to do is to write a small script that shows us the different steps or stages to follow.

3. Go little by little

No matter how motivated a person starts a project, if he/she begins in a very intense way or trying to reach huge goals, it is very likely that he/she will get tired of it. it is very likely that he or she will tire more easilyor even experience feelings of frustration at not being able to achieve them.

Keeping in mind that big things are not achieved in a short time, the best option to achieve a big goal is to break it down into smaller, more accessible objectives. Also, these small goals have the advantage of boosting our self-efficacy and changing our self-concept, causing the negative beliefs we have about ourselves to change for the better.

4. Be aware that it will not be an easy road

Knowing that both the path we have to follow and the changes in our life that this may bring will not be easy prepares us to be able to face them more effectively..

Change implies leaving our comfort zone and facing new and unfamiliar situations, so if we are aware of this discomfort and we are mentally prepared to stand firm in spite of it, we will be much closer to success.

5. Find a balance

One of the most effective techniques when facing big changes in our life is to try to maintain stability on a mental, physical and emotional level. If we manage to maintain the balance in these three planes we will be much calmer and we will eliminate the possible interferences that can alter the development of our projects.

It is true that this is not achieved from one day to the next, but through effort and tenacity we can achieve it. If our mind is in order, if we provide energy to our body and if we maintain an emotional stability, the achievement of our goals will be much easier, the achievement of our objectives will be much easier and lighter..

6. Be aware of external influences

Our social context, family environment and friends can exert a great influence on us, and this does not always have to be good. In many occasions our attempts to change or achieve a goal do not come to fruition because our environment limits them. our environment limits them.

For example, a person who wants to quit Smoking will find it much more difficult to quit if there are smokers in any of his or her environments, such as at work or among friends.

Thus, if we know what these limitations or obstacles are, it will be much easier to overcome them. A good way to integrate them is to to make a list of possible obstacles that we may that we may encounter along the way.

Marta Torres, Psychologist and Coach